


Transient Dreams

by AnotherLostSoul



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom L, Dark, Emotional Manipulation, Execution, Heavy Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mental Anguish, POV Alternating, Past Relationship(s), Revenge, Revenge Sex, Top Yagami Light, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-02 04:27:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17257553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherLostSoul/pseuds/AnotherLostSoul
Summary: L knows Light is using his love for him to manipulate him. L knows Light does not love him and will write his name down. L knows it will break his heart but he will do what he must to see Kira executed. L wishes he didn't know any of these things. He wishes his Transient dreams could come true.





	1. Death of a dream

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a like and a Comment if you enjoyed. Author's need feeding!

L didn't even have to look up from his screen to know Light had entered the office. His expensive cologne, sandlewood, amber and musk, betrayed his presence. It's scent made L's lip curl in disgust but his stomach fluttered as he remembered the sensation of that scent washing over him as Light draped his body across his. 

L ran his tongue over the bite mark Light had left on his lips that morning and dragged his tired eyes down the screen. Facts, figures, names, numbers, dates... 

'It is all meaningless. Kira is right here in front of me, but the others are too blind to see it' L plucked a sugar cube up from the bowl next to him and chewed on it slowly. He knew things were drawing to a close now. Light had regained his memories of the Death Note and had killed Higuchi. The Shinigami that haunted the Task Force HQ served as a constant reminder of death hanging over all their shoulders. L felt Light's eyes on him but avoided looking back. He had little to say to the man he loved when he knew that man was plotting his death. 

It was a shame Light didn't realize that. He strolled over to L's desk and sat down in the seat next to him. 

"You okay, Ryuzaki? You look a bit tired?"

L finally turned his eyes to Light and just looked at him. Amber eyes, perfectly chiseled features, soft lips, a cunning smile... 

'Yes, Light, your mask of innocence is truly a beautiful one. Shame about the monster beneath it'

"I am tired, Light-Kun" L finally responded in a soft monotone as Light's gaze sharpened. 

'He sees weakness in me. He will try to exploit it. And I will let him' L closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Light's eyes *burned* him. 

"You are sick, Ryuzaki" Light declared, his 'concern' for his friend drawing Matsuda over to them. L flinched as Light placed a cool hand to his forehead. 

"You *are* sick" Light frowned, feeling the clamy heat radiating from L's skin "You should get some rest, Ryuzaki"

L shrugged a shoulder, really not in the mood to endure this fake sympathy any longer, and pushed his chair away from his desk. 

"Watari, can I speak with you" L asked softly. Watari nodded and placed a hand on L's arm. He could see the strain the young man was feeling reflected in his eyes. 

"Of course, L, come with me to my office" Watari noticed Light staring at L and was immediately reminded of a wolf, just watching and waiting for the time to strike. L would not become this wolf's prey, not while he had breath in his body. L would do what he must, despite his own ill-advised feelings. L would triumph, there was no other alternative. 

L ignored Matsuda's curious stare as he followed Watari out of the office and shut the door behind him. He did not ignore the look Light shared with the Shinigami before it lumbered out of the room. 

L smiled bitterly at Light's plan. It was clever, to use the Shinigami to bring about his death but it was also insulting. Kira would not sully his own hands by writing his name down. He was playing a game of manipulation and he was relishing in it. 

Well, L would soon put an end to Kira's game. This transient dream of his, the possibility of *something* between himself and Light devolping, was a castle built on sand. It had no foundation, it would not last and it simply couldn't be. The dream had been shattered when Light had touched the Death Note again. The foundations had crumbled when Light had written Higuchi's name. 

L had to admit it was more painful than he was prepared for. Perhaps he would have to comfort (and torture) himself with dreams of what could have been? He shook his head to clear his thoughts and walked to Watari's office. 

Once they were in Watari's office L sat down on Watari's couch and called Rem into the room. 

She walked through the wall and loomed over him. L saw his death reflected in that one yellow eye. 

"Rem, Light is going to manipulate you into writing my name down in your Death Note" L said simply, with no embellishment "He will use your desire to protect Misa Amane from suspicion if I test the 13-day-rule. I *know* this rule is fake, devised to avert suspicion from Light and Misa since they were under confinement for longer than this time period. So, I know what Light is planning and I am asking you if you are simply going to sit back and let him manipulate you, or are you going to work with me to manipulate *him*? "

Rem gazed at the numbers above the human's head. Her decision would affect them. He would either live another 67 years, or another 2 days. 

"What are you suggesting, Lawliet?" Rem rasped "I do not wish to die, but I will sacrifice myself to save Misa"

L scoffed, his eyes glimmering with dark amusement "You wouldn't save her. Even if you did kill me you too would die, and you can't protect those you love when you are dead, Rem-San. You will be powerless to stop Light destroying Misa's life. He will be the cause of her death, be it directly or indirectly. My successors will hunt Kira down after my death and they will kill him. Do you honestly think Misa will continue living without him? She has the eyes and she knows too much. There is the possibility Light will just write her name when she no longer proves useful to him. We both know he is cold enough to do that."

Rem hung her head as she absorbed Lawliet's words. She could see the truth in them. Misa was at a precipice. If she continued to retain her memories she would suffer and die at Light's hands and her and Lawliet's deaths would be rendered redundent. 

But, if Rem forced Misa to give up both her Death Note *and* her memories, she would be free to live a long and happy life. 

"Light Yagami is a truely disgusting human being. I have listened to your argument, Lawliet, and I agree. Light would use my feelings for Misa to manipulate me into writing down your name. He knows he would rid himself from me and his control over Misa will be complete. I am willing to listen to an alternative course of action"

L smiled, relief evident on his face. Watari had been right, appealing to the Shinigami's intelligence had been the correct thing to do. 

"Thank you, Rem-San" L fiddled with the hem on his sleeve as he thought with furious intensity. The idea cemented itself into his mind and L nodded. 

"I have a plan. Misa will have to 'die'"

Rem frowned "Light must believe she is dead?"

"Yes. Misa is the second Kira. Light must believe he has lost his alli. Rem, is it possible for you to remove *all* of her memories of the last year? She must not know who Light Yagami is. Make her travel overseas for a month, that will give enough time for Light to be executed before she returns"

Rem absorbed L's words in silence. How was Lawliet going to convince everyone Misa had died? 

"I will handle the rest" L assured. He turned to Watari and nodded. Watari pulled out his laptop and immediately contacted Aiber. "Misa Amane will be reported as killed in a tragic car accident this afternoon, I will arrange the press coverage and crimescene set up but you must go to Misa and wipe her memories. She must be out of the country before we set this up or we will fail"

Rem nodded and spread her wings "I will do what you ask, but if either of you attempt to harm Misa in future I will kill you"

L shrugged "I understand that, Rem-San. Unlike Light I am not trying to manipulate you, please remember that. Have faith in me and Misa will be safe and able to return to Japan once it is discovered the news reporting her death was fake. Also, you and I will still be alive, which is something of a bonus... "

Rem smiled a nasty smile that curled her thick lips and showed a peek of fang "And Light Yagami will die"

"Yes" L nodded, his shoulders slumping "Rem, do you know I actually have feelings for Light? Without his memories he was... exceptional. Dedicated and full of integrity. It is a shame we cannot switch our feelings off when people suddenly change and become monsters, isn't it? I want you to know I *understand* how far you are willing to go to save Misa. I will go to equal lengths to bring Light to justice, even though I love him."

Rem cocked her head in confusion. How complex humans were. Lawliet loved Light Yagami but was prepared to sacrifice him in the name of justice. Light would die and L would suffer for the rest of his life, just as she would when she could no longer see Misa...Sacrifices needed to be made, but the alternative was letting Light get his own way and there was no way she was going to go meekly to her death to cater to his ambition. 

L Lawliet did not deserve to die either. 

"We understand each other well, L Lawliet. I will go to Misa and return shortly"

L nodded and watched with wide, fascinated eyes as she flapped her wings once and shot upwards. She went straight through the roof, the only indication she had even been there was the papers fluttering to the floor. 

L left Watari to arrange the carcrash and went to his bedroom to rest. Light thought he was unwell, might as well use it as an excuse to have some peace abd quiet to think.

********

"Watari-San, where is Ryuzaki?" Light asked immediately when Watari entered the room. 

"He has gone for a lie down, he is not feeling well"

Light nodded and plastered a relieved smile on his face at the news. Rem was absent and he needed to find out why. He excused himself with the excuse he would bring some juice up to L, and left the office. Rem was supposed to report to him what L and Watari had been discussing but she was no where in sight. 

'What if L has got to her? He hasn't so much as spoke to her, much less acknowledged her presence so far... Would he expect me to use Rem against him? if he does, I will just have to use Misa to kill him instead... And that is not what I would prefer. I want Rem and her threats out of the way but... L has to die one way or the other'

Light sighed, his frustration bubbling within him. If only L was not so damn stubborn, perhaps he wouldn't be forced to kill him. L was his equal, his nemesis and his... 

Well, Light didn't know what L was to him. He just knew he enjoyed L's sharp mind and his supple body. Perhaps if things had been different L could have been his lover, his consort even. But L was too stubborn, so instead of ruling the world by his side L would have to die. 

'I will miss him when he's gone' Light's eyes shot open in surprise. Disgusted at the sappy thought he rebuked himself. He did not love L. He did not care for him. He admired him as an enemy and he enjoyed using L's feelings to manipulate him. He enjoyed fucking the body he fantasized putting in the ground. He was Kira. L was L. Only one of them could live, and it would be him. 

Light schooled his features, his determined smile melting into a frown as he knocked on L's door. 

"Yes?"

"It's me, can I come in?"

"Light-Kun?"

Light smiled, his eyes sparkling in amusement. He could *hear* the longing in L's voice. L's love for him would get him killed just as much as his stubborn streak. 

"Yeah, its me. I came to check on you" Light turned the handle and saw L was curled up under his duvet, just the tips of his spikey black hair peeking out the top. 

Light padded across the floor and shucked his shoes off. L said nothing when Light slid into bed and wrapped his warm arms around him. 

'How can someone so warm be so very cold inside... ' L felt his eyelids fall closed against his will as he relaxed into Light's embrace. The smell of his cologne, the hardness of his muscles and the strength of his arms... He bit his lip as he committed them all to memory. 

"L... Are you okay, Love?"

L stiffened in his embrace and pulled away. He saw nothing but soft concern in Light's beguiling eyes. 

'No wonder you fool everyone. You even make me doubt myself. Calling me love, holding me like this... No one would even consider you are planning to kill me. You think you have me fooled but you kill so *elegantly*, Light. I believe if I was anyone else you would succeed in killing me with this sweet deception'

L sighed as Light slipped a hand up the back of his shirt and traced little patterns on his back. The feeling of those fingertips dancing across his skin made L shiver. 

"I'm tired" L said softly, tucking his face against the fragrent curve of Light's throat and collarbone "Very tired, Light... "

Light uttered sweet words and soothing lies as he held him. L would soon rest. He was safe, Light was here for him. Light would always love him. L could close his eyes and rest. 

'Yes, Light, you believe I will soon rest... In the grave. Permanently' L thought, his lips curling into a sardonic smile as Light pressed kisses to his face. 

Light stared down at L's face, relaxed and peaceful as his breathing deepend. L was on the cusp of sleep. Tired, emotional and vulnerable. 

Just where he wanted him. 

"L...I've been thinking about the 13 day rule, do you think there is a strong possibility it's fake? If you do, it would be a good idea to test it"

L uttered a sleepy 'hmm' in response and nuzzled closer. Couldn't Light just stop scheming for two damn minutes and let L absorb this feeling. It might be false and completely wrong, but L needed to soak up this feeling as a cactus sucked up water to store up for drier times. He doubted he would ever feel this way about anyone again. He had given his heart to Light Yagami who had in turn stamped on it. He would just have to relay on this memory he was making, stored away like life-giving water deep inside his heart. 

'Love is a very cruel thing indeed, just like Watari said' L thought sadly 'I always wondered at my lack of understanding of the human heart. Now I wish I did not know... '

"You sleeping?"

L sighed again and lifted his head "No, because someone won't shut up" he snarked, but his eyes were soft "I agree about testing the rule, I will set that up, later, for now I just want you to be quiet so I can rest" 

Light smiled in satisfaction. L had just made the decision that would cost him his life. He dropped a tender kiss to L's head, thanking him for making it. 

He had no way of knowing L was curled up next to him, not as an innocent victim who's own actions would lead him to his slaughter, but as his loving enemy. 

********

Light left L 'asleep' and wondered through the corridors. Misa hadn't contacted him and Rem was still AWOL. Something in his gut told him it was not a conicdence. He would have to be careful. L might be vulnerable now, but if he did have the chance he would be able to completely tear his plans apart with that wickedly sharp mind of his. He would have to keep L soft and pliant and full of his sweet words and kisses until it was time. L was surprisingly easy to distract and Light needed him as distracted as possible right now. 

He spotted Rem and crocked a finger at her. She drifted over to him, her one yellow eye glaring down at him hatefully. 

"You haven't heard the news? Misa is *dead* Light Yagami"

Light staggered. Misa was dead?! How?! He still had plans for her! 

"I can see from your surprise you were not responsible. Yes, Misa has been pronounced dead after a car crash." Rem let emotion color her normally raspy voice "Misa is dead. I owe you nothing... but...Misa did love you. She died with thoughts of you in her heart and for that reason alone will I not kill you"

Light bit his lip, his brain working like crazy as he tried to predict what Misa's death would mean for his plans. How would her death affect him. Misa had been his protection against Rem and his tool to use against L. Her loss was a great one but not devastating. He could still use Rem to kill L, he would just have to make the Shinigami believe L had had Misa killed. She had fallen for his manipulations before... 

"Rem, we need to find out how she died and where. I suspect L is somehow involved in it"

Rem resisted the urge to smirk at the humans arrogance. He was *still* trying to get her to write L's name down, just as L had said he would. L had also told her to do as Light asked. He asked for his and Watari's names to be written down the next afternoon. She would write them, but they would not be written on Death Note paper. L had already sourced the drugs needed to suppress his heart beat just long enough for him to pass as 'dead' and Watari would administer the antidote when he went to lay L out... L had set this plan in motion, all while Light had been gloating at his weakness as he'd taken to bed 'ill'

Rem was really struggling to keep the smile of her face now. L's plan was truly *brilliant* and there was no way Light would see the trap for what it was until it was too late. His own arrogance and jubiliation at his 'victory' would be enough to make him fall into L's trap. L had planned for Kira to convict himself. 

"Prove this to me" Rem growled "Prove he was involved and I will take his life in revenge"

Light nodded, his heartbeating excitedly in his chest as Rem took the bait... 

 

********

 

L held the capsule in his hands and stared at it. This one, tiny pill would save countless lives. 

Rem had been true to her word and reported straight back to Watari. Misa was sat on a plane bound for Belgium, no memories of Light or Death Notes in her hazy mind. She was going on a long overdue vacation to take some time out before focusing on her career.

Rem had said goodbye to the clueless killer and prepared her Death Note with the fake notepaper. As soon as she returned to the HQ she had informed Watari and the 'Crash' occurred. L's contacts were truley remarkable in their creative cunning. Rem had watched Aiber crash into the model's car. A 'doctor' had prounced Wedy aka Misa dead at the scene. It had all gone smoothly. She had barely a moment to speak to L before Light was prowling around looking for her. 

Rem watched as Light wrapped his arms around L (once he'd gotten up) and informed him of Misa's death. Rem could see the glee in his eyes, even as he clutched at L tighter in 'grief'

"I am so sorry to hear that, Light." L said softly, his voice as soft as mournful bells "Perhaps you should take the day off to mourn her?"

"No way! I am more determined than ever to bring Kira to justice. We will avenge her, Ryuzaki. Kira will pay for this!"

Matsuda, Aizawa and Mogi nodded at the rousing speech. L patted Light's back, staring intently at Rem as he said:

"Yes, Kira will indeed pay. Watari, set up the test to determine whether that 13 day rule is fake or not-"

"But, shouldn't we look into Misa's accident? What if there was something underhand going on, she was a suspect" Light glanced at Rem. Take. The. Bait. 

"There will be no need to waste our time or resources into investigating Misa's unfortunate accident. The police will do that. Misa is dead, and I will not waste my time on her now. We have the living to think of, Light, there are thousands of names Kira is planning on writing. That is thousands of lives at stake. I suggest you do take some time to mourn her today, her death has clearly skwered your priorities." L stuffed his hands and in his pockets and strolled out of the room. He smiled to himself as Matsuda hissed 'Ryuzaki can be such a jerk!' behind his back. 

Rem made sure to appear furious at the dark haired human and nodded her head at Light.  
She was surprised as Light shook his head in response and raised a single finger discreetly.

Rem nodded again to confirm she understood. 

He wanted one more day with L before he killed him... 

'I want to fuck him one last time' Light smiled darkly 'Then I will order Rem to kill him'


	2. The Little Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L prepares for the end and spends one last night with Light. Rem realizes just how complex humans really are when she catches Light at his weakest and most conflicted moment- mourning for L whilst plotting his death.

L sighed softly as he stretched the kinks out of his back. He hadn't really been paying attention to the documents in front of him, rather he had been daydreaming the last few hours away. He knew it was pointless, to imagine Light and himself seeing in the New Year in front of Big Ben or traversing the Grand Canyon, but dreams were the only thing he had and even they weren't real. The only other alternative was despair, and L could not afford to Indulge in that destructive emotion. 

Near, Matt and Mello were waiting for home to catch Kira and return home. The possibility of his defeat would never have even entered their minds. He was their idol, their mentor and their older brother. He knew he would need their love and support in the difficult weeks to come. He would need them to fill some of the gaping hole Light Yagami would sear into him as he left the world. 

L sighed again and this time it attracted Light's attention. Light was like a hawk, with ever watchful, bright-eyes keenly locking onto any action he percieved as weak or of use to him. L knew Light would want to use the sadness he felt. 

"L? Maybe we should call it a day?" Light asked softly, beautiful golden eyes filled with concern as they gazed compassionatly into L's stormy dark eyes. 

"Yes, I suppose you're right. The others have left and we are not achieving anything here" L stretched one more time, a sliver of pale midrif exposed to Light's hungry gaze. "I'm going to go for a shower... " 

Light was on his feet in one fluid motion. His eyes burned with a molten desire and his voice husked as he pressed close to L "I will join you, if you like?" 

L closed his eyes as his body screamed 'YES!' 

His poor heart shuddered at the idea. Anything he did with Light tonight would be the last time. Could he endure it, knowing he was experiencing the last kiss? The last press of their bodies together? The last low groan Light would make as he pushed into his body? That last high, that little death as Light wrung his seed from his body and made him scream in fleeting ecstasy? 

But it was his mind he listened to,  It was always his mind he listened to, and his mind said *yes*. Let Light use his body, let him relish his victory if it would keep him oblivious to his defeat that lay straight ahead. It was when one was feeling at their strongest and untouchable that they were most vulnerable to attack. 

L closed his eyes and shivered as Light's lips found his. He parted his lips with a sigh and felt that damn feeling again. Everytime Light kissed him the feeling would come and it was as cruel and tormenting as it was beautiful. 

When Light kissed him L felt *loved* 

Which was completely stupid, but even his formidable mind could not prevent his body's longing for Light's touches be they genuine or not. Light had lit a fire inside him and now he was fanning the flames until it scorched him. 

Light pulled away and stroked a thumb over L's sharp cheekbones. 

"Can I make love to you tonight?" 

L stared into those beautiful, lying eyes and nodded his head. Light's mouth parted into a smile so bright it blinded him. 

He walked with Light up the stairs. He entered the lift and got off on the top floor. He stripped himself off his clothing and stepped into the shower. All these actions were mechanical, automatic. It was only when Light wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him once more did L feel again. He felt alive in this killers arms. His skin pebbled in gooseflesh as Light's erection skimmed against his belly. 

Light groaned and pushed L against the glass, his hips rolling into L's seductively. L let his head fall back, little pants of desire escaping his slack mouth. He knew what Light must think of him now: someone so weak and desperate for human touch he would be foolish enough to let his guard down.The great detective L, killed because he wanted to fuck his main suspect. Killed because Light Yagami used his body to distract his mind. L bit his lip to repress the dark smile that burned on his lips at the thought. 

"L, you are so beautiful" 

L cracked open an eye and stared at Light unbkinkingly. 

"I am not beautiful, Light" L corrected, his voice perfectly neutral "Why do you feel the need to lie to me?" 

L noticed the slight flare of Light's nostrils with disspassionate and automatic analysis. Light was aroused at the idea L thought himself unattractive. Light was aroused at the weakness he percieved in him. 

"You *are*" Light ground their cocks together again, smiling as L let out a chocked whimper "The fact you can't even see it makes me want you even more... " 

L hissed through his teeth as Light continued his skillful assault, his hawk-like eyes never leaving L's face. 

"I want to fuck you every night and wake up to you everyday" Light whispered, his words sliding over L's skin like silk and making him shiver. 

'Promise me the world, Light, promise me everything I've ever wanted as you count down to my death. Why do I love someone so heartless? Why must I love someone so fucking *cruel*' 

L felt tears burn behind his eyes and blinked them away quickly but it was useless. More welled up and soon L found himself unable to stop their slow descent down his face. Light would mistake them as tears of affection but L knew them for what they really were: the tears of a lover who knew they were being betrayed but continued to love their betrayer anyway. 

The tears of a *fool* 

"L... Don't cry" Light whispered, one hand drifting to L's face and wiping a tear from one large, lumimious eye. 

L lowered his head to Light's chest and listened to his heart throb beneath his skin. So young and full of life. Light would have had so many years ahead of him if he had chosen a different path. The thought made L's heart clench painfully in despair. 

"L... Love? What's gotten into you tonight? You don't seem yourself" 

L tightened his arms around Light's waist in response as he swallowed the lump in his throat. Tears clogged his throat in a strangling grip. 

"Light... I love you" L finally managed to whisper through a voice thick with tears. 

Light stared at this weak and emotional L before him. He felt *something* stir within him and clamped down on it swiftly. L was going to die tomorrow, L had to die tomorrow. Thinking of that feeling that lingered persistently in his chest would not help matters. 

'He is so in love with me he is blind to everything else. I will give him one last night on earth and hold him when he dies. That is generous of me, considering all the trouble he has caused me in the past' 

Light pressed a soft kiss to L's forehead. It meant many things: I love you. I'm sorry. You're mine. You're my equal. It spoke of sorrow and resentment: Why couldn't you join me? Why are you forcing me to kill you? Why are you so bewitching to me? Why do I feel the way I feel for you? 

Light pulled back from L and cupped his cheek in the palm of his hand. L's sooty eyelashes trembeled against the white of his face. 

'It was a goodbye' Light told himself  'Nothing more' and like all accomplished liars, he believed himself. He switched off the shower, dried their shivering bodies hastily and whispered for L to get into bed. Like a mindless doll, L followed his every command. He lay back on the bed, shivering and still wet as Light pulled his strings and played his body and heart to perfection. 

"L,  I want you. I want to fuck you and come deep inside you" Light groaned, rolling over and grabbing the lube sat on the bedside table. L said nothing, could say nothing, as Light parted his legs and slipped a finger inside him. 

'Last time... Last time... Oh, this is the last time... ' L bit his lip and uttered a moan of despair and passion as Light pushed another finger inside him. His legs tensed as Light's fingers skimmed over his prostate. He was unable to stop the cry that ripped through his throat as Light smirked down at him. 

"That the spot, sweetheart?" Light purred, already pressing against it mercilessly. L clawed at the sheets as sharp hot spikes of pleasure raced up his spine with every movement of Light's fingers. 

"Light! Light, nnngh! P-please, I need you" L begged, his head thrashing on the pillow as Light teased at his weeping erection with his spare hand. 

"How much do you need me, L? How much do you need to feel my cock pushing deep inside you? Tell me, and I will fuck you" 

L whined in distress as Light pulled his fingers from his body and released his cock. 

"Come on, Love, I know that clever tongue of yours can do more than whine. Tell me how much you want me and I will pound you into the mattress. I will make you scream in pleasure until you're throat is hoarse... " 

L shuddered as Light's fingers skimmed maddeningly over his belly. Every touch was a torment, each puff of breath against his neck was an invitation to submit to his fate. 

"I...  Light... I need you! Please,  please... Light!" L clamped down on his lower lip as Light swiftly lifted one of his legs. He purred a 'good boy' as he slicked his cock up and rewarded L by slamming inside his body in one brutal thrust. 

L screamed, his senses reeling as Light groaned *that* groan and flexed his hips. His cock sank those last few inches and L's scream tempered to a soft whine of pleasure as the head of Light's cock grazzed his prostate. 

"This what you needed, huh, L? Needed to feel my cock burried deep inside your ass?" Light groaned, his hips already rocking back and forth, the slow drag of the walls of L's tight channel against his sensitive cockhead made him see stars. 

'Fuck, I will miss this. I will miss fucking this tight body' Light thought, barely able to control himself as he picked up his pace, fucking to a faster rhythm and making L sob and writhe in a frenzy of desire beneath him. 

'Enjoy it, L, this is the last fuck for you and I need to fuck you so damn hard-' Light stopped thinking as L hooked those long legs around his waist and pulled him even deeper inside him. He growled and captured L's mouth, his hips snapping as he forced his cock as far as it would go into that addicting heat. L was gasping beneath him, one hand clutching the sheet while the other clasped around Light's straining bicep. Light could tell how close he was to his petit morte, L's body was flexing but taut beneath him, tensed and ready to snap like a bowstring. 

'Enjoy this one last time, L' Light snarled viciously as he pinned L to the mattress and fucked into him. Every frustration he had was fucked out of him as his cock lunged into L's body. L screamed and he flung his head back to bare that lovely pale throat to Light as his body spasamed in release. Light bit down on that soft white throat and squeezed his eyes shut in pleasure as he pumped his seed into L's quaking body. 

"Light... Light... Ah... " L whimpered, his hips bucking helplessly as he spurted his come onto his stomach. He could feel Light's cock pulsing inside him, he could feel each powerful jet of come from that thrusting cock hit his prostate... 

L's eyes rolled back in his head as his exhausted body surrended to oblivion. As Light pulled out of him and kissed his face he managed to think 'last time... ' before consciousness left him and he relaxed against the bed. 

Light stared down at the limp figure in his arms and smirked in satisfaction. L's wild black hair glimmered in the moonlight and Light smoothed it away from his face. 

Sleeping, L looked so very young and delicate. So breakable. 

"I hope you enjoyed that, L. Tomorrow will be your last day alive,  count yourself lucky you got to experience one last fuck before you die" Light hissed spitefully, trying not to fall under the spell of L's milky skin *glowing* in the moonlight.  

L murmered softly and shifted in his grasp, his eyelashes flickering as he dreamed. He reached out blindly for Light. 

Light pulled away from him as if he had been burned. His heart had clenched at the sight of L reaching for him. He had wanted to hold him... 

"You will die tomorrow, L, and I will smile down at you when you do. You will know I don't love you!" 

Light giggled as his words rang in his ears. He knew there were no cameras in L's bedroom and L himself was completely oblivious, snoring as he was gripped in a deep, sated sleep. 

Light stalked away from L and went to take a shower. He would not waste his time picking apart his own feelings. L was a distraction that made him question himself. The sooner he was gotten rid of the better. 

L slept on, a little line of anxiety marring his brow as he dreamed of Light smirking down on him as he died... 

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

 

After his shower, Light felt more composed. He had washed away L's sweat from his body. He was once again clean and free from his desire for L. 

He climbed onto the rooftop and sat on the ledge of the skyscrapper, dizzy thoughts rushing through his brain. 

'I could jump right now and save L. I could kill myself. He wouldn't have to die in my arms tomorrow... ' 

Light bit his lip as that frustratingly *good* part of him screamed at him to think about what he was doing. 

'You love L, how do you think you will feel if you kill him? By killing L you will be killing yourself too' 

Light screamed in anguish as that soft voice rang in his head. He was Kira! Kira had to make sacrifices when he judged people. It was his right as a God, and L had betrayed him! L had refused to submit to his rule and his idelogoy. The penalty for refusing God's grace was death. Whatever he felt for L was nothing compared to his ambitions for the world he would one day rule. L could have no place in it. L would never submit to Kira, even if L did accept Kira's cock into his body and submitted so beautifully as they made love... 

Light threw his head back as he sucked in the crisp night air. The moon hung low in the sky, illuminating the City below in a ghostly light. The same color as L's soft skin in the moonlight... 

"I am Moon Night God!" Light cried, his eyes wide with elation as the wind howled around him "I am Kira, God of the new world!" 

Rem shook her head in disbelief as she observed the delluded mortal before her. It was obvious to her Light loved L, but it was equally obvious he would still not hesitate to kill him for the 'greater good' she shook her head again as Light let out a series if moans and sobs that hung hauntingly in the nightair. 

'He knows in his heart he loves L. He is grieving for him... I wonder, if he did kill L, would it drive him mad?' 

Rem stood quietly behind the water cooler as she observed Light's wildly careening emotions with avid curiosity.  

One moment he was sad, asking the moon why he must be cursed to kill the one he loved then the next he was screaming that L would suffer and die at his hands as all Kira's enemies would. 

'Do you love him, Light? Or are all those lies you have told yourself affected your brain? Do you even know *what* you feel anymore?" 

Rem turned away from him in disgust and returned to L's bedroom. She would keep watch over him as he slept. She knew it would be the last peaceful night's sleep he would have in a long while... 

******** 

When L awoke it was to the sound of bells. They rung loudly in his ears as he struggled for breath. He could still see that smirk Light gave him before everything faded to black. 

L felt his gorge rise and stumbled to the bathroom. He vomited violently, tears streaming from his eyes. He flushed the toilet and brushed his teeth as he clutched the sink weakly. He thought he heard the door open and hoped it was Watari. 

No such luck, L weakly lifted his head and saw Light staring at him through the bathroom mirror. 

"L...?" 

L lowered his gaze and spat out the toothpaste. He reached for the mouthwash and swished it around his mouth as Light continued to stare at him. 

"Morning, Light" L finally greeted as he wiped at his mouth. 

"Were you sick?" 

"Yes." L dropped the towel on the floor and ran a hand through his hair. He was sick on so many levels. 

"L, Watari sent me up to tell you he is finalizing the preparations to test the 13-day-rule." 

L dressed in silence, ignoring that penetrating gaze until he had nothing left to do and would have to meet it. 

"Tell Watari I will be down shortly, I want to go to the roof for some fresh air first" 

Light frowned and followed him out of the room. He did not want L going anywhere alone, he wanted him in the office were Rem could see him. 

'What is your name, L? What letters float above your head? I bet your name is as unique and beautiful as you are' 

Light growled at the soft nature of his thoughts and grabbed L's arm. L did not protest and let himself be dragged away from door leading to the roof. 

"I want you with me" Light said softly "You aren't well, I want you close where I can make sure you're okay" 

L smiled bitterly "I think I may die soon, Light. I woke up hearing the bells this morning... Yes, I am 98% certain of my imminent death. It will be lonely, won't it? Will you miss me when I'm gone, Light?" 

Light blinked in shock. How did L know he was going to die? Had Rem spoken to him? Or could he somehow *sense* his time was coming to an end. Light did not like not knowing the answers and L's dark eyes were fathomless and distant as he gazed into them. They revelead no answers, just the mysteries that comprised L's singular mind. 

"You aren't going to die, L. You're talking nonsense, I really don't know what's wrong with you lately. Is it because you're sick?" 

L turned away from the door to the roof. Light wouldn't let him go, and to do so would only be delaying the inevitable anyway. He had the pill in his pocket and Watari was on standby. 

"Don't waste any more time worrying about me, Light. I am prepared to die, it's something I have never been afraid of but I wonder if I will feel lonely without you?" L shook his head to clear his thoughts "It doesn't matter. We will all die one day it's an inevitable fact of life" L shrugged and turned away from the roof. He felt Light following after him and closed his eyes tightly as Light clasped his hand in his own. 

'At least you are being sweet and holding my hand as you walk me to my death, that's something isn't it...?' 

They arrived at the metal double doors of the Task Force HQ and L took a deep breath. He opened the doors and walked past Rem. He pretended to not notice the glance between the Shinigami and Light and went to his chair. 

He accepted a cup of coffee from Watari and stirred it absently with a spoon. The pill was subtely lifted to his mouth and L held it gently between his molars, waiting for the time to bite down. 

Watari hovered by his side and touched his shoulder to signify Rem had drifted into the next room to write his name down. L bit down hard on the capsule and did his best to keep the grimace off his face. It tasted so bitter! 

Light was gazzing at him expectantly, a small smile curling his lips. 

L tried to speak but couldn't. The drug was already coursing through his veins. He vaguley registered how cold he felt before he fell to the floor, eyes rolling back in his head as his senses reeled. 

"Ryuzaki!!" 

Light's cry sounded like it was coming from deep underwater. Everything blurred and became heavier. Light's arms grabbed him around the middle just as he hit the floor. 

L lay limply in his arms, eyes wide and unseeing as the final stage of the drug kicked in. Oxygen was robbed from his lungs as his heart struggled to keep beating. L's eyes began to close as it slowed down to 5 beats a minute. It would keep him alive, but barely. Watari would have to administrator the antidote within 4 minutes or he *would* die of heartfailure. 

"Ryuzaki? Snap out of it! What's wrong with you? You can't let Kira beat you! L!" 

L mustered the last of his strength and foccused his eyes on Light's face. Light tipped his head down to his and *grinned* at him. 

'There it is then... ' L's eyes closed as his nightmare was brought to life before him. In this terrible moment he found himself wishing he was dying for real.That mocking grin broke something inside him. It might have been his heart, but L suspected it was far deeper than that: Light had shattered his fledgling sense of trust in others. Light continued to leer down at him as L's body went still, His heartbeat barely perceptible and his skin growing cold through lack of oxygen. Light finally let his grin melt away and summoned tears to his eyes. He did not reflect on how easy they were to call up or how quickly they fell. 

"No! Is he dead?"Matsuda cried, dropping to his knees and picking up L's limp hand. He pressed his fingers against L's wrist and burst into tears as he felt no signs of life. 

Watari gently pushed him out of the way and smoothed L's messy hair out of his eyes. He made a show of checking L's pulse then hanging his head in grief. To all appearances L was dead, his mouth slack and eyes half-lidded. 

"Watari, I am so sorry! " Light whispered, tears trickling from his eyes as Watari scooped L's body into his arms. L's head flopped to one side, his lovely pale throat bared to Light's hungry eyes one last time. 

Light stared at that luminious skin and felt his stomach flip as he saw the lilac shadows of the bruises his bites had left on L's once living flesh. L had writhed under him as he gave him those but now they were just marks on a corpse. 

"I will lay him out and arrange for his body to be buried at once." Watari said in a heavy voice "No one can know L has died until his title has passed to his successors" 

"Who are his successors? Will we be working with them?" Souichiro asked, his head bowed in respect as Watari shifted L's corpse in his arms. 

"His successors are of no concern to you, L made no attempt to tell you when he was alive and I will keep his secrets now he is gone. Please excuse me, I need to be alone with him" 

Watari swept out of the office and left the Task Force reeling in his wake. He only had 2 more minutes to get that antidote into L. He quickly entered the small survilence room they'd chosen and placed L on the table. He locked the door and hurried back to L. He pulled L's shirt up and with expert precision stabbed L directly above the heart with the needle and pressed the plunger. Adrenaline surged through L's body and his heart hammered in his chest. L let out a strangled groan which Watari smothered by holding a hand over his mouth. L thrashed beneath him, eyes wide and panicked as his body was shocked back to awareness. 

"Shh, it's alright, L, it's me. You've done it, you've convinced them you're dead. We must move quickly, the funeral service Aiber and Wedy have hijacked will be arriving soon. You will need to be hidden away until you have the footage you need" 

L nodded and slowly sat up, his arms trembling with the effort. He hoped he would never experience something so terrifying again for as long as he lived. 

Rem walked in, her eye maliciously bright in the dimly lit room. Behind her Aiber and Wedy were pushing a trolley through the door. On top lay a body bag that was already 'occupied'. 

"I will carry you to the Teito Hotel where you can set up the security cameras and rest." Rem rasped and opened her arms. L hesitated for a moment before he stepped into them. Rem's large white wings funfurled and L opened his mouth to scream as the ground vanished beneath his feet. They shot up into the air just as Light and the Task Force knocked on the door. 

L kept his eyes firmly shut against the freezing wind hitting his face. He clutched at Rem tightly, imagining the skyscrapers of Tokyo as matchsticks beneath them as Rem flew higher and higher. He wished he was brave enough to open his eyes and see how high they were, but he knew if he did that he would probably be sick. 

He finally felt Terra firma again when Rem gently placed him in an alleyway near the hotel. 

"Rem... That was awful!" L groaned, his head still spinning and stomach churning violently "But thank you so much for your assistance. Please return to the Task Force HQ and inform Watari I am in position. Aiber and Wedy will be joining me here as soon as I am 'buried'" 

Rem smiled at the cunning little human. Light Yagami had met his match in L. Lawliet. It was just such a shame they both loved each other... 

L walked towards the entrance to the Hotel quickly, his hood drawn around his face and Rem watched him go with a deep sense of sadness. Light Yagami did not deserve to be loved by such a human as L Lawliet. 

She sighed and shot up into the air again. She flew towards the Kira HQ with grim determination in her heart. Now was the time to convince Light of her 'loyalty' to him... 

The thought sickened her. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx 

 

Light sat in stunned silence as the funeral company employees wheeled the stretcher baring L's body away. He hadn't even been able to have one last look at his enemy before his corpse was whisked away for a top secret burial. 

The Task force were shattered. Matsuda had hardly stopped sobbing and his father had valiantly tried to ralley the time together and failed. Watari had vanished to contact L's successors (whoever they were, Light would have to get rid of them as soon as possible) and Rem was once again absent. 

'Rem wrote down his name and killed him but she didn't write down Watari's. Why didn't she kill him too?' Light forced himself to remain calm. Rem had either made a grievious error in keeping Watari alive or she had her own reasons for sparing the old man. Rem had kept her word and killed L in 'revenge' for Misa, perhaps she would continue to be useful as long as Light made her believe he would continue to honor Misa? 

As if summoned, Rem appeared before him and slouched over to his side. 

"Rem, why is Watari still alive" Light hissed softly, keeping his head down in 'grief' so the others would not see him speaking to the Shinigami. 

"The man only has 6 more days to live anyway, I decided it was not worth my time writing his name down.' 

Light paused and bit back a darkly-amused giggle. Poor Watari! Only six days left to live? L's death would be the death of him as well. Perhaps the old man would die of a broken heart now his precious L had been taken from him. 

L... 

"L's name" Light whispered "What is it?" 

"L Lawliet" 

Light felt something catch in his throat and even he was unsure if it was a sob or a burst of laughter. L's name really had been L! L Lawliet, a strange and oddly elegant name just as he had thought. He had killed the world's greatest detective, L Lawliet. 

Now that he had a name to attach to the dark-eyed, dark-haired ghost of his lover it suddenly felt so much more real. He would never see L again. He would never fuck him or kiss him or punch him again. They would have no more battles of wits or chess matches... for L would soon be nothing but a cold corpse six feet underground. That brilliantly sharp mind that had so captivated (and infuriated) him was gone. The brain that once ran like a high-tech computer was now just a useless lump of flesh, waiting to decay.  

Light shuddered in revulsion as he imagined what it would feel like to thrust himself inside L's body now. There would be no pulsing heat around him and no throaty groans of pleasure. There would just be silent, yeilding coldness, inside and out of him. L's bewitching eyes would be hollow, lifeless... 

'He knew he was going to die. He wasn't afraid. He was sad when he saw my smile. He *knew* I was Kira when he died... ' Light got to his feet and wiped tears he had not realized he had cried away from his eyes. 

"I need to find out who L's successors are, Rem. Will you help me with that? For Misa?" 

Rem nodded her head solemnly "For Misa, I will. I will haunt Watari and see what I can find out" 

Light smiled In coyingly sweet satisfaction "Thank you, Rem. I meant what I said, I will avenge Misa. L has paid the price and so will his successors " 

Rem frowned at the smiling human. Tears were still running down his face and she doubted Light was even aware of them. He was too caught up in his schemes and victory to notice his soul crying out in pain at the death of the person he loved. Light and Kira were too different entities with seperate thoughts and feelings. Light cried for L, while Kira was ready to dance on his grave. She didn't know which one she was talking to, but she knew L would be waiting for her. She took her leave as Light suddenly started sobbing loudly. She noticed Souichiro Yagami approach and knew Light was once again playing to his audience. 

Souichiro Yagami found his soon still sat sobbing outside the room L's body had been in and sat down next to him, the dark shadows under his eyes making him so much older than Light remembered him to be. 

"I know it's hard, Son, to lose a friend. Ryuzaki knew the risks when he took on this case. We all did. I am so sorry Kira has killed him, he was too young... He didn't deserve to die at Kira's hand" 

Light resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his dad's sudden respect for Ryuzaki. Now the man was dead it seemed he must have been cannonized into some saint, for he was suddenly 'too young' and 'too good' and 'too intelligent' to have deserved to be struck down by Kira. 

Hadn't his father argued with L over his methods countless times? Hadn't L ignored his arguments and done what he wanted regardless? His father had called L a 'Brat' once, Light remembered overheating his father complain to his mother after dinner of L's 'reckless' methods of investigation. Why was L suddenly so perfect in their eyes? Because he was now a corpse? 

'How fucking hypocritical they are all' Light seethed. He forced himself to accept his Father's hug and *not* push the hypocrite away from him as he wanted to do. 

"Can we go to his grave, Dad? I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye to him properly. It was all so sudden!" 

"Watari has said he will contact us when it is safe to visit. Even in death, no one can know who L was. Come with me and have a drink, we will all visit the graveyard later and pay our respects to Ryuzaki" 

Light wiped at his tears and leaned against his father as they walked to the office. No one said a word as Souichiro placed his son in a chair and poured him a stiff measure of whiskey. 

"To Ryuzaki" Matsuda sniffed, raising his tumbler in a hand that shook "May he rest in peace" 

Light accepted the glass from his father and lifted his arm to toast. 

'To L, the only person I have ever loved' 

He downed the amber liquid in one and relished it's burn as it slid down his throat. He hadn't meant to think that, he hadn't meant to accept that. 

But now he had and he could no longer attempt to deny it. The thought burned hotter than the alcohol in his belly. 

He had loved L. 

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx 

 

L, meanwhile, was quietly sat sipping a cup of tea, unaware toasts were being made to honor him. 

He had drawn all the curtains and clutched a throw around his shoulders. He felt chilled to the bone. 

Aiber and Wedy were silent witnesses to his pain as they took pity on him and set up the survelance monitors. L was shivering violently, and they were unsure if he was suffering after effects of the drug or if he was lapsing into shock. 

L hoped Rem would come soon, that once feared creature was now an unusual source of comfort to him. Rem had taken his side and aided him in setting Light up for his fall. He would always be endebted to her. 

"L, everything is set up and ready to go... " Aiber frowned at his fragile looking boss with concern. He had never seen L look so *wretched* before. 

'He must really love Light' Aiber realized, his hard blue eyes softening as L's teeth chattered loudly. He picked up another throw and draped it across L's shoulders. 

"Thank you, Aiber. Thank you Wedy, you have both been very helpful" L whispered, his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him "When it comes to the time, I will not be there to arrest him. The next time I will see Light is when he is in a cell. Do not reveal I am alive until I am ready to face him" 

Wedy pursed her lips in frustration. She had never seen L so down and it honestly made her just want to hug him. Deciding that would be neither of their style, she sauntered over to him and kissed him instead. 

L didn't so much as flinch as he felt those soft red lips touch his own. He knew what Wedy was trying to say to him with that kiss. He clasped her hand in his own and squeezed it gently to convey his thanks. He let out a soft sigh as she pulled away from him and returned to monitor the cameras around his grave... 

 

******** 

 

Rem followed Watari into the restrooms and waited patiently as the old man disabled the cameras. Once he had done so, Watari turned to face her with a strained smile on his face and bowed his head. 

"It has all gone smoothly, Rem-San. I will be informing Light and the others L has been buried shortly. I should imagine by now the cameras and recording equipment will be set up. On behalf of L, and myself I want to thank you." 

"L will suffer for the rest of his life once Light has gone. You are his friend and protector, you will need to be there for him" Rem warned softly "He is making a sacrifice that would destroy most humans" 

"Indeed, but L is not like most people. L will have his family to support him and I will never leave his side. He is strong enough to do what he must and convict Kira, even if Kira is the one he loves. L knows his duty, Rem-San, he will not fail and I will not fail him" 

Rem nodded sadly. She hated how L Lawliet had become *another* human she now had feelings and compassion for. She would watch over him just as she would continue to watch over Misa. 

Watari seemed to know of Rem's feelings for his ward as he placed a wrinkled hand on her arm "He will have you, too. I think he will need you the most" 

'I would have killed L to keep Misa safe. Now I would kill anyone to keep L from harm. How strange these little humans are, to be able to make a being such as myself love them... ' 

Rem prepared to take to the air once again, this time to stand by L's side as Light fell into the trap waiting for him... 

******** 

As Rem flew back to the Hotel, Watari washed his hands and schooled his features into those that resembled resigned sorrow. 

The others would be waiting for him anxiously. L would be waiting for him to set the final part of his plan in motion and any delay would only cause him more pain. That was something Watari would not do. 

He squared his shoulders and entered the office. At once all eyes turned to him. 

"Thank you for your patience. L's successors have been informed and I have needed some time to grieve privately. L was like a son to me, and his death is not something I will be able to overcome. I will escort you to his resting place then I will be taking my leave from this investigation. L's successors will have their own support networks so it will be up to them if they choose to work with you" 

"You can't just quit-" 

"I have just lost MY CHILD!" Watari roared at Aizawa, channeling his real fear of L dying to successfully achieve the note of raw pain and anguish in his voice. He took a moment to calm himself before he continued "Before every case L has always stipulated should he die in action his title, wealth and all power will be transfered to his three brothers. He stipulated *nothing* else when he updated his will during this case. L knew there was a high possibility he would pay with his life, but he was confident his successors would succeed where he had failed. They will pick up the mantle and head the Kira investigation. I am going to lay flowers on his grave and pray for him, you may accompany me or not but I suggest you collect your possesions from this building. It belongs to L's brothers now" 

Light chewed on his lip as he picked apart Watari's words. He knew L was an orphan, L had told him his parents died when he was six. He had never mentioned having brothers, but Light had spied a handmade Christmas card in L's deskdrawer once. Was it from one of his younger brothers? Fellow orphans perhaps... If he could get Watari to talk he would have no problems finding out the identities of L's successors and eliminating them. He needed L's title and the power and connections that came with it. As L, he would be above suspicion and Kira would thrive. But the problem was Watari would soon be *dead* so he would have to work fast. He would also have to be extremely careful in his approach-the man possessed the same keen intelligence L had which stood to reason considering he had *raised* L. 

"We all owe it to L to pay our respects, Watari-San" Light said softly, lovely amber eyes covered with a film of tears "He was my friend" 

Watari kept a straight face, using every ounce of will to stop himself from reaching out and throttling the two-faced bratling in front of him. Light Yagami, the teenager who thought himself a God. It would be laughable if it was not so tragic. If so many lives had not been lost to this boy's childish ambition. 

"Thank you, Yagami-Kun, I am sure L would appreciate you saying so" 

They all decided to visit the grave, just as Watari predicted. He kept his face expressionless as he drove the Task Force to the quiet, private cemetary on the outskirts of Tokyo. 

He fired a brief text to L, a warning: 'They are on the way to your grave. W out.' 

L had responded with a similarly brief message: 'Good. Rem is with me, Aiber and Wedy en-route to arrest him. L out' 

It was business as usual, even though his wards heart was breaking. Watari met Light's red-tined eyes in the mirror and held his gaze. 

'You will die for your crimes as Kira, and you will die for your crime of trampling L's heart into the dust' 

Light just smiled at him in response. Watari tightened his grip on the steering wheel and focused on the road ahead. 

10 miles to go. Let Light enjoy his little victory, he would soon taste nothing but bitter defeat as his world came crashing down around him. 

All courtesy of the lover he had rejected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is as far as I have got with this story. It is dark, full of angst and at times, difficult for me to write. All feedback is (as always) appreciated :)


	3. The Spiders Web

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and the Task Force visit L's grave to say goodbye. Will Light's arrogance get the better of him as L suspects it will? Light's world is turned upside down when he is arrested and brought before someone he never thought he'd see again: L.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so satisfying to write... In an oddly, dark, depressing kinda way... (Shrug) Please don't forget to leave a Kudos/Comment! - ALS

Light laid the wreath and propped it against the simple cross. It was so like L himself- simple and unobtrsuive but deceptively striking as well. The cross was made of pure marble and it shimmered softly in the evening sunshine. 

There was no plaque to commerate him. The cross stood starkly bare, a testiment to L's secretive nature until the very end. 

The earth underneath the coffin was disturbed, but packed back neatly. Light stared down at the soil, trying to get his head round the fact L's *body* was under it. 

That same body he had thrust in to, that mouth he had kissed and that neck he had bitten just yesterday now lay beneath his feet, cold, rotting slabs of meat to feed the worms. 

'I love you, Light' 

Light screwed his eyes shut in an attempt to banish that memory from his mind. L had loved him and now he was in a coffin. That was the reality of the situation and Light still had work to do, a world to build, and *those* thoughts were useless distractions. 

Light stepped away from the grave and clasped his hands together piously as his Father lay down his flowers and paid his respects. 

"Ryuzaki... I am so sorry it has come to this. Rest assured, I will do all I can to bring Kira to justice. If your successors want my help, I was gladly work alongside them. I know we did not always agree or see eye-to-eye on things, but I always had great respect for you. To be so young and to wield so much power... I admit, I was indignant about having you as my superior at first. I wrongly believed I was more fit to run the investigation, simply because I was older. I was wrong. You proved to me how wrong I was with every decision you made, even the ones I disagreed with... You were also a good friend to my son. You were the only one Light ever really felt a *connection* with... I pray that you find peace, Ryuzaki. I will never forget you" 

Matsuda sniffed loudly as the chief stepped back from L's grave and took his place to pay his respects. 

Light discreetly rolled his eyes. It was going to be a *long* afternoon... 

 

******** 

L meanwhile, stuffed a handful of jellybeans into his mouth as he sat watching his team make their eulogies to him. 

It was quite a bizzare thing to experience and even Rem seemed fascinated as they listened to Matsuda warble on about how much he had admired and respected L. 

"I know you often called me an idiot... " 

L scoffed "You *are* an idiot, Matsuda" 

"But you still saved my life. I never thanked you for that. You could have just left me in Yotsuba's hands but you didn't. Thank you, L, I mean Ryuzaki... Um, L? " 

L groaned at the man's bumbiling and spat out a cinnamon jellybean that had somehow escaped his notice and made it to his mouth. 

He hated cinnamon. Almost as much as he hated having to endure watching these god-awful speeches. 

"If I had known you would have made such a balls-up of my eulogy I wouldn't have bothered, Idiot" L snarled spitefully as Matsuda bowed before his grave. 

Rem's lips parted in a smile as L continued to pick apart their speeches. He branded Mogi's as 'Bland and Uninspiring, much like Mogi himself' and Aizawa's speech as 'Utter Bullshit' much to Aiber and Wedy's amusement. L had his spark back at least, his scathing wit and sharp tongue were taking no prisoners. It almost felt like old times, when there had been something *more* between them. L's scatching wit had been turned on them more times than either Aiber or Wedy could count, but they stayed by his side because L was the only consistent thing in their unpredictable lives. He was their anchor. 

L sat through Watari's speech in silence. He knew that whatever Watari said would be spoken directly to him. Watari looked straight into the camera and said his words 

"I love you, L. I admit, it was not something I told you often, but I hope it was something you *felt* you are the best thing to ever happen to me, and I will always cherish our time together. The life you have lived has not been an easy one and I wish nothing more for you than to find peace. Your friends and family will always be here for you and we will always love you. Rest well, L Lawliet, until we meet again" 

L blinked back his tears and cleared his throat in embarrassment. Wedy and Aiber were smiling at his awkwardness because it was so typical of L to react that way. 

"Watari is a good man, L, he will always have your back" Aiber nodded at the screen "Look, Light's asking to spend some time alone at your grave... " 

L leaned forward expectantly. This was the moment he had been waiting for (and dreading at the same time) the Task Force walked away to give Light the space he needed. Souichiro Yagami, the guilable fool, patted Light's shoulder as he passed him. 

"There is a Shinigami with him, the one called Ryuk" Rem whispered as Ryuk, who was only visable to her, floated over to stand by Light's side. 

"Thank you, Rem" L scrawled a quick note for himself: 'Kira's Shinigami arrives at 16:43' 

L watched Light stare silently down at his grave for several minutes. Rem relayed the questions Ryuk was asking him: 

What would Light do now L was gone? Wouldn't things get boring without L? Why was Light ignoring him? 

L bit his lip in impatience. Ryuk's words were not enough to convict Light. He needed Light to convict himself. 

"Come on, Light, you are standing over my grave. Show a little of that arrogance of yours to me... " L scribbled down Ryuk's questions but his eyes never left the screen. 

A change was sweeping through Light. His frown was contorted and twisted into a sickening grin L could only describe as *evil* Light threw his head back and laughed, his entire body shuddering as he relished in his victory. 

It hurt, it hurt more than L thought it would. Rem distracted him from the pain by placing a large, white hand on his own. Her clawed hand dwarfed his, but he could feel the suprising warmth of the Shinigami sink into him. He was greatful for the support as Light's words battered his heart: 

"The greatest Detective in the world, huh, L?! clearly not as great as you thought you were or you wouldn't be six feet under-fucking-ground now would you?! " Light dropped to his knees, his crazed face inches from the dirt "You fell for it, L! You fell for it all, Everytime I fucked you I was dreaming about your heart giving out. I dreamed about learning your name! I wanted you dead for so long and now you are. I've won! Kira has won, L. That's right, I guess I can now give you the confession you always wanted. I am Kira. What can you do to stop me now? Nothing! (a long and craze filled laugh)  Poor L parted his legs for Kira and now he's in the ground. But don't worry, I promise I will send your brothers to join you soon enough..." 

L stumbled out of the room and vomited in the bath. Even as he heaved he waved a hand at Aiber and Wedy. 

"Arrest him!" L groaned when his shudders subsided enough for him to talk "Rem, go and threaten Ryuk. I want Light's Death Note" 

"I will make him give it to me" Rem promised, half tempted to stay and soothe the ill human. 

"Go. Quickly!" L gasped, his stomach churning as Light's words made him wretch one again. 

Rem burst out of the hotel room, her wings carrying her high above Tokyo while Aiber and Wedy sped towards the cemetery. 

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

 

Light was dizzy with elation but his heart thudded heavily with emptiness at the same time. 

With each step he took away from L's grave the ache grew heavier. Ryuk had vanished and he suddenly found himself wanting the irritating Shinigami by his side. 

He needed a distraction from the emptiness! He had taken down his enemy! Where was his elation? Why had it suddenly disappeared... 

"Light Yagami" 

Light paused and swiftly pivoted to the direction where he had heard that familiar voice. 

"Wedy?" He asked softly, forcing a smile onto his face as Wedy strolled up to him. L had liked her. Light had even made a joke that L fancied her and L had just shrugged before admitting he had actually slept with her years ago and that their relationship was strictly *business* now. 

Light had felt an irrational bout of jelousy when L had also informed him he'd fucked and been fucked by Aiber a few times as well after particularly stressful cases. 

'I'm only human, Light, and being who I am does not present me much opertunity to meet partners. Wedy and Aiber understand that. They may have been my lovers but I did not *love* them. Not like I love you... ' 

L's ex lover looked ravishing, her curled blonde hair, red lipstick and long legs peeking through the slit in her skirt reminded Light of a Hollywood Actress. 

Wedy smiled and pulled a handgun out of her pocket, fixing it on Light with practiced ease. 

"You are under arrest for the crime of being Kira" 

Light forced out a shocked laugh at her words. He spread his hands and held them up, a gesture to display his 'innocence' 

"Wedy, what are you talking about? I'm *not* Kira" Light shook his head "I came here to pay my respects to L, do you really think you are honoring his memory by accusing me of being Kira? Look, L and I were lovers when he died, he died knowing I was innocent and-" 

"Can it, Yagami!" Wedy snarled. She saw the 'shock' on Light's face bleed into anger. Time to move. She took one step forward, the agreed signal, and Aiber shot Light in the back with a dart. Light screamed, scrambling at his back to pull the dart out of him. 

But it was already too late. The drug was in his system, making his hands clumsy. Wedy's vicious smile and her shiny high heels filled his vision as he collapsed at her feet. 

'No! I can't submit to this! I need Ryuk, Ryuk can kill them for me... ' 

Light clenched his teeth, struggling to keep his eyes open and screamed for Ryuk. 

Ryuk did come, but he was slack-jawed with surprise and accompanied by a menacing looking Rem. 

"Sorry, kid, guess you've lost after all" Ryuk shrugged. Rem relaxed next to him, the sharp talon she had been pressing against the lesser Shinigami's throat retreated "Give up ownership of your Death Note" 

Light growled and shook his head. Rem had betrayed him! Ryuk had betrayed him! L! Was he really dead? His eyes widened as Ryuk snatched the Death Note from under his jumper. Light sobbed as the Shinigami tore out a page of it and stuffed it inside his mouth. Light had no choice but to swallow and relinquish the Death Note when Wedy placed her gun to his head. 

He felt his world crashing down on him, and his worst suspicions were confirmed when Wedy whispered softly into his ear "L says hello" 

He could not fight any longer. The drug dragged him under as Aiber made the call for Kira to be chained and gagged... 

 

******** 

 

'I should be feeling vindicated. I should be feeling victorius. My plan worked, Light condemned himself through his own arrogance just as I always knew he would... But I feel so *empty*' 

L forced himself to eat another donut, the powdered sugar tasting like ash on his tongue. Watari was dropping the Task Force back to the HQ where a special video awaited them. Light Yagami was currently gagged, blindfolded and chained securely in the back of an unmarked van. Aiber was driving him to the most secure prison in all of Japan. 

He spat out the donut and swilled some cold tea round his mouth to chase the taste away. L felt his eyes drift to the minibar and he slouched over to it. Cold tea just would not do.  He selected a fine whiskey, tossed the tea in the sink and filled the teacup to the brim with whiskey. 

Light had toasted him with whiskey. It was only fitting he should do the same. Besides, L knew alcohol was probably going to be one of the main things to pull him trough the coming days... 

"Cheers, Kira" L gulped down the burning liquid. It sloshed angrily in his empty and upset stomach, but L forced himself to drink the rest of the cup as he typed up the official report that would publicly name and condemn Light Yagami as Kira. 

******** 

Meanwhile, Watari and the Task Force had arrived back at HQ. Watari smiled as L's message flashed on the screen. The large Gothic 'L' sat imperiously waiting to be addressed. It loomed over the Task Force who hissed in fear at it's onimipatent presence. Matsuda whimpered and crossed himself, whispering that L's ghost must have come back to haunt them. 

"L is not a ghost, Matsuda-San" Watari smiled, his voice laced with satisfaction "L is alive" 

As expected, the room *exploded* with shocked exclamations. 

"What?!" from Aizawa 

"That can't be!" from Souichiro. 

"But we saw him die!" from Matsuda. 

And finally a "Huh?" from Mogi completed the Task Forces first reaction to the news the detective L was still alive. 

"I suggest you all sit down, L has left a message for you" Watari felt  bubbles of excitement fill him as the dumbstruck Task Force fell into their seats, slack-jawed and wide eyed as Watari opened the file L had sent. 

"Greetings, Task Force" L's dark eyes fixed on them intently "By now I should imagine Watari has informed you I am, in fact, very much alive. I watched your eulogies to me, and I must say they were mostly disappointing... Yours in particular, Matsuda. But I digress, you are all probably sat there seething with resentment, aren't you? 

Well, let me explain to you what I've done first before you condemn me. And, Matsuda, do try and keep up because what I am about to tell you will be quite complex. I have always known Light Yagami is Kira. I have also always known Misa Amane was the second Kira. Light relinquished his ownership of the Death Note to divert suspicion away from himself and Misa. And, to his credit, it worked for a time. 

However, upon regaining his memories and killing Higuchi Light made a fatal error. He brought Rem to my attention. It is thanks to Rem I have been able to succeed in capturing Kira. 

Light was going to use Rem and manipulate her into writing my name down in her Death Note once I had announced my intention of testing the 13-day-rule. I spoke to Rem and offered her a different course of action: to work alongside me and manipulate Light instead. In return for assurances for Misa's safety, yes she is still alive as well, Rem helped me set up Kira. I should probably interject at this moment Rem is reminding me to tell you she knows all of your names, and that if *any* of you breathe a word of Misa's crimes she will not hesitate to write them down. I would take Rem's word as a promise, not a threat. When Misa Amane arrives back in Japan in three weeks time she will not be prosecuted. You will all let her live her life in peace or suffer the consequences... " 

L took a sip of tea to wet his throat before continuing: 

"The lies and deceptions I have spun are subtle and even Light didn't know he was caught up in my web until it was too late. Misa was forced to give up her memories. I had a fake car crashed announced and Rem erased Misa's memories and sent her overseas. With Misa dead Light realised he could not use Rem to kill me... Unless he manipulated her into believing *I* was responsible for Misa's death. 

Rem made Light believe in her loyalty and pretended to write my name down. I took a drug to temporarily slow down my heartbeat and give the impression I was dead. Once you all believed I was dead Watari revived me and organized my burial. Souichiro-San, I am very sorry to tell you your son's arrogance has led to his current incarceration. What none of you realized is my grave was bugged. As I said, I watched you give your speeches... And then Kira gave his own... " 

L stopped talking and the entire footage of Light's hate filled speech and confession was played. 

"No! Light! How could you?" Souichiro sobbed, tears of anguish streaming down his face as his son's grinning face filled the screen. His words... Souichiro knew he would go to his own grave with those hateful words etched into his heart. Aizawa slammed his fist into the desk in front of him. 

"So you see, I was right all along. I should feel more vindicated as I say this to you but I really don't. The truth is I *love* Light. When he gave up ownership of the Death Note he became someone else entirely. He became someone I fell in love with. Of course, I *am* L so my love for him will not impede on the course of justice. Kira will be executed for his crimes. I am currently staying in the Teito Hotel. You are permitted to visit if you wish. I would particularly like Souichiro-San to visit. I will keep you updated as to the progress of Light's conviction and expected execution date. If I do not see you again I wish you well, and remind you all the value of holding your tongues... Goodbye" 

Watari switched the message off with a fierce sense of triumph pounding through his veins as he absorbed the shocked and horrified faces of the men in front of him. 

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

 

Light awoke to a throbbing skull and a dry mouth. He could see nothing but could discern by the vibrations and noises he was currently in a moving vehicle. 

'L tricked me. The bastard! He tricked me from the start...He must have had the grave rigged!' 

Light started giggling despite himself. He really shouldn't be so surprised, L was the cleverest person he knew. He was the only one capable of challenging him and L had *won* and he knew there was nothing he could do or say that would save him now. 

He had signed his own death warrant. 

'L, you really have pulled a number on me. I thought I had you under my control all this time, and yet you were just coiled up like a snake ready to strike. Clever, L. My Devious little bastard... ' 

Light's giggles slowly faded away until he was sobbing. It was awful, he was being carted off to his death but that damn part of him was *rejoicing* L was alive. 

Those intense eyes were wide awake and alert, that pale body he adored was not lying cold beneath the ground. No, even now L was probably working on the report to send *him* to his grave, one long fingered hand pressing something sugary to those kissable lips... 

'I should hate you. I *do* hate you' 

But even as he lay strapped down to be carted off to his death, Light knew in his heart he didn't. In this bleak moment he decided he could afford to be honest with himself. His dreams for his new world were obliterated so there was no point in denying his true feelings anylonger. He *loved* the person who had ruined his life and would condemn him to death. 

It was exactly how L must have felt about him. 

Light smiled shakily as the thought 'Romeo and Juliet have nothing on us, do they, L?' Flashed through his mind before darkness fell once again...  

Aiber found he did not much like having a Shinigami as a driving companion. Ryuk sprawled in the passenger seat, lazzily munching on an apple as Aiber drove Kira to the prison. 

He felt he had gotten the short straw here, Wedy was probably back in the warm hotel room with L drinking tea by now, while he was taking care of the dirtywork with an infuriatingly *noisy* Shinigami for company. 

"So, 'Aiber', what does L plan on doing with him? Rem told me I can't write his name down in my Death Note, and that's a pain. I was looking forward to it... " 

Aiber sighed and reached for another cigarette. He was already on his sixth. 

"Kira will be executed publicly as the severity of his crimes dictates. Rem is working with L so I wouldn't suggest you go against her. She's stronger than you, and I doubt she was joking when she said she would destroy you if you wrote Light's name down" 

Ryuk wheezed in laughter and shook his head. He still found it hallirious Rem *was* stronger than him and of a higher rank too.  That Shinigami clearly had a death wish, forming attachments to humans all the time. First Misa and now the Detective. She was as foolish as Gelos. 

Still, he wasn't completely stupid. Rem was protecting L Lawliet now, so he would have to go along with what that dark-haried human said if he wanted to stay alive. He too had no doubts Rem would kill him if he did otherwise. 

"I ain't got any loyalty to Light, and I don't want to die so I will do what Rem and Lawliet wants" Ryuk's beady eyes lingered on the cigarette "Can I try one of those?" 

Aiber shrugged and tossed the packet at him. It was such a shame Shinigami couldn't develop cancer from smoking, he thought. If they could he would have got an entire crate shipped to Ryuk at this point. He would have lit every single one of them for him too. 

Aiber lit it for him and watched the Shinigami's face as he sucked on the cigarette harshly. Smoke curled out through his nostrils and he spluttered in distaste. 

"Blugh! It's not even nice! Why do you humans smoke these things if they don't even taste nice? I mean, If you're going to do something that kills you you should at least enjoy it!" 

Aiber rolled his eyes and exhaled a jet of smoke. The nicotine flooded his veins and he felt a little calmer. *That* was why he kept up his pack a day habit, not that he thought a Shinigami would understand. Still, Ryuk was peering at him intently, obviously expecting an answer. 

"I enjoy smoking. It calms me, especially in situations like this when I have to endure pointless bullshit spewing out from your mouth. People smoke because it feels good and they are addicted to it, the fact that it hastens death is actually something of a bonus for some" 

Ryuk snickered and took another long drag. Humans smoking sticks that would kill them. It was all so morbidly amusing to him. 

"Does that mean humans are addicted to death?" 

Aiber shrugged his shoulders, thinking of the bound prisoner in the back of the van "some are" 

Ryuk grinned, his eyes hovering over Aiber's head and seeing the numbers only a Shinigami or one gifted with their eyes could see. Aiber's death was 9 years away. That wasn't long at all. Still, it was far longer than dear Lighto's- his numbers were dwindling down to mere days. 

'Bet you never saw this coming, eh, Light?' Ryuk's eyes glowed either excitement as Aiber pulled up to a pair of huge, iron gates. Beyond the gates was the prison, a number of depressing grey buildings to house Japan's most dangerous criminals. Kira would be sent straight to death row, a small building set aside from the others. A pen in which to keep those awaiting slaughter. 

"I'm here on L's orders." Aiber passed the guards a document and a card. They read the document and scanned the card without moving a muscle. Their faces only became animated as Aiber's reference did check out. L had captured Kira! 

"He's finally got the bastard. I knew he would" The dark haired guard with the grizzled beard bowed his head "Please convey our sincerest thanks to L-Sama" 

Aiber husked a laugh and shrugged his shoulders "I will, but I doubt he will give a fuck for them. Just make sure Kira is kept restrained at all times. No visits. Basic human rights and *no* talking to him. He is cunning, you should perceive everything he says to you as a lie. L will be arriving tomorrow morning to announce his sentence, so it might be a good idea to tidy this place up a bit... " Aiber's eyes caught a plastic bag fluttering about in the breeze. While L did not expect his prisons to resemble paradise, he would have something to say about the litter strewn around the place. 

"Yes, sir! We will begin preperations at once!" 

Aiber smirked. How nice it would it be to be L and to wield so much power? 'Not that nice at all, considering he is sending his lover to his death' 

Aiber lost his smirk and helped the guards unload Light with a much more somber demeanor than he had had before... 

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

 

L showered and dressed, mainly for something to do, and returned to the main lounge in his suite of rooms. 

Wedy was sat at his desk, cigarette clutched between two slender, red-tipped fingers, making no effort to disguise the fact she was reading his case notes. 

"Never change, Wedy" L smiled, enjoying the way his friend continued to be completely unrepentant as she finished her sentence before replying to him. 

"Oh, you know I won't. How are you feeling? And don't say 'fine' because you're clearly not" 

"I feel terrible" L admitted softly "I feel sick and I feel a little drunk" 

Wedy's lips parted in a lavcious smirk. She had noted the half empty bottle of whiskey on his desk. 

"Want to fuck?" 

L barked out a surprised laugh at Wedy's blunt question and found himself *grinning* at her in amusement. For the first time in days she had wrung a genuine smile from him. Judging by the gleam in Wedy's eyes she was feeling quite proud of that fact. 

"No thank you, Wedy, though it was kind of you to offer" L's tone was sparking with his usual dry wit as he 'politely' turned down her offer. 

Wedy snickered and turned back to her report as L slouched over to the sofa and turned on the television. News of Kira's capture had spread like wildfire. He would have to find a moment to get in touch with the boys. He knew they would be clamouring for answers even more fiercely than the media. 

Perhaps speaking to them would cheer him up a little?  L snatched his laptop away from Wedy ( who sighed and reached for her nail file in response) and tapped on the 'W' icon. A secure video connection started and L shifted in his seat as he waited for Matt to accept. He never had to wait long, his Matt was always hard at work. 

"L!" 

L smiled at the elation in the boy's bright green eyes. 

"Matt... It is so good to see you again" 

"You too! It's been *weeks!* you look like shit, L..." 

L smiled blandly "Thank you for that kind endorsement, Matt." 

"Mello! Near! L's got in touch!" 

L pulled away from the screen, his ears ringing slightly at Matt's excited screech. He watched in fond amusement as one white-haired whirlwind rushed into the room, followed by a taller blonde one. 

"L!" 

"Boys... I have missed you all dearly. This case has dragged on a lot longer than I would have liked. But it will soon be over and I will be coming back home" 

"When?" Was the instant demand from the hot-headed elder of the trio. 

"When Kira has been executed and the case closed. You know I do not leave until everything has been settled, Mello. I should hope to be back at Wammy's within a fortnight" 

"Two weeks... " Near, the youngest with strikingly similar eyes to L's own and a soft voice to match shufled to front of the screen.  
"L, you seem very sad." 

L smiled bitterly. Of course Near would pick up on that, Near seemed to be able to pick up on whatever he was feeling even with his expressionless mask firmly in place. 

"I am sad, Near. This case... Has been most difficult for me. I believe it has been the most difficult case I have ever taken on" 

Mello and Matt, completely oblivious as to *why* that was, frowned in awe. L was actually admitting he had found something difficult! 

Near was far more astute than his older siblings. He could tell by the haunted look in L's eyes the man was suffering deeply. He was suffering in a way Near hadn't expected him to be: he was heartbroken. 

L shook his head softly, stopping Near's questions before they came. Near understood and held his tongue. L would talk to him privately then. 

"I have much to do here, Kira's case is already being judged at the high courts as a matter of formality. Once the guilty verdict has been reached this afternoon I will sentence him tomorrow morning." 

L ended the brief communication by doing something he very rarely did. He reminded the boys he loved them very much before cutting the connection abruptly. He could not stomach that knowing gleam in Near's eyes. Near knew he had compromised himself and fallen in love with his prime suspect. But Near also knew L had overcome his own feelings to ensure justice would prevail. He could see the pride in Near's eyes and it touched him almost as deeply as the sympathy there. 

"Well, now that you've spoken to the children, what is our next step?" 

L plucked a piece of pockey from his desk and chewed on it sullenly as he considered her question. He supposed there next step would be to wait for Souichiro Yagami to arrive. He owed him an explanation as to his feelings for his son. He owed him an apology for what he must do. 

L glanced at the clock and closed his eyes. Light would be securely locked up in death row by now. Watari, Rem and Souichiro would be arriving at the hotel shortly. Aiber and Ryuk would be on there way back to rendevouz at his temporary HQ as well. 

"My offer still stands, if you want to fuck and get some of this... Sadness out of your system before the others arrive...?" 

L stiffened in surprise as Wedy's plush lips brushed his ear teasingly. He closed his eyes as her breath ghosted against his cheek. 

"Wedy... " 

"Let me help you, L" Wedy breathed softly, her lips descending to kiss the fading bruises that dotted his neck. L jerked away from her in response. 

"You can't help me. I *love* him" L whispered sadly. Wedy sighed and pulled away from him, her face settling into a perfectly neutral mask at his rejection of her. 

"I'm no good at this offering comfort stuff, L. You know I'm not. I'm sorry, I didn't meant to offend you-" 

L laughed softly and shook his head "You have not offended me. You are a strikingly beautiful woman, Merrie. I'm certain any man would count himself lucky to just be glanced at by you... But I... I can't." 

Wedy nodded. L was not going to get over Light Yagami anytime soon. Perhaps he never would. Somehow that boy had melted L's heart and claimed it as his own. Even now, when he was ordering his death, L's eyes seem to brighten a little as he mentioned his name. 

"You poor fool... " Wedy finally sighed, placing her hand on his shoulder in sympathy "you just had to go and fall in love, didn't you?" 

L hung his head and let a few silent tears slip from his eyes. Wedy made no comment and went to the kettle to make some tea. There was nothing she could say that would ease her friend's grief. 

******** 

A little after 5 pm Watari arrived with Souichiro, Aiber, Rem and Ryuk in tow. 

L was greatful he had had his opportunity to cry a little because he knew he wouldn't get much chance to now. 

"Ryuzaki... " 

L smiled and waved his hand at Souichiro, gesturing for the man to sit opposite him. 

"It's L. L Lawliet. There is little point in us hiding behind aliases now, Yagami-San. Not when the truth is finally out in the open" 

Souichiro sighed heavily and sat in front of him, his tired eyes staring at the slight figure in front of him. L Lawliet. The person his son loved. He knew at once what had attracted them to each other- they're genius. In each other they had found someone who could understand them when no one else could. They had found their other half in each other, and now it was L's duty to tear them apart brutally. 

"L. I confess I had no idea you or Light held such strong feelings for one another. I... I find it heartbreaking to believe Light would kill you when he knew he loved you. How could my boy have done such a thing?" 

L shrugged sadly "Light and Ryuzaki may have stood a chance, but Kira and L never did. He knew that and I knew that. It really is not so surprising, Yagami-San. I too am now in the position where I must kill the one I love. It is indeed a heartbreaking thing to do, but nevertheless it *will* be done. I'd like to think Light held a similar opinion on my death, but I doubt that." 

Rem drifted to his side and spoke softly into his ear: 

"He did. Light agonized over killing you. I saw the turmoil within him as he tried to deny his feelings for you, but he did love you, L. He still does" 

L tucked away the words to dissect later. He thanked Rem with a nod of his head. It was a stupid comfort, to think Light still loved him after all that had happened, but it was a comfort all the same. Perhaps he had been loved, even a little bit, all those times Light had held him? 

"Besides" L said in a stronger voice "The feelings L and Kira have for each other are not as important as the crimes Kira has committed. Your son has killed three thousand one hundred and seventy two people, Yagami-San, and he will pay with his life. I have received news of his sentence this afternoon and the courts are demanding Kira to be oublically executed as soon as possible. I asked you here to forewarn you of this. As L, I will be the one to kill him. " 

"You would... You'd kill my son? " 

L's eyes hardend "I will kill *Kira* in retribution for all those he has killed and for justice to be served to all the families his actions have destroyed. As L this is a responsibility I cannot avoid. Kira will be put to death in two days time by lethal injection. I suggest you take this time to speak to your family and arrange for them to visit Light one last time... I will allow that" 

Souichiro swallowed roughly, his throat dry with anguish "Thank you... Thank you for giving us the opportunity to say goodbye" 

L nodded stiffly. It was something he felt he owed the elder Yagami. A father should be able to say farewell to his son before they died. It was something Souichiro deserved, even if Light did not. 

L finished his meeting with Souichiro by arranging to have him and his family driven to the prison in the morning by Watari and Wedy. L would travel with Aiber and the Shinigami. 

Once a devastated Souichiro had gone, L finally slumped back against his chair and let his eyes close. He was asleep in seconds. 

******** 

Four cracks on the wall. A timer that buzzed every fifteen minutes to remind the guards to peer in through the slit in the door to check on him. A sink, toilet and something that was supposed to pass for a bed where the only objects in the stark white cell. 

The floor was freezing beneath his bare feet. 

Light curled his toes, unsurprised to see they were turning blue. 

'I can't believe I fell for his tricks. I'm supposed to be building a new world, not chained up in a cell' Light shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. The chain attached to his ankle hooked to a ring near the door. It held fast, Light had already tested it. 

The chain had just enough give to allow him use of the toilet and sink but that was about it. He hadn't even attempted to lay down on that lumpy looking thing that was to serve as a bed. 

'Will I see him again before I die? Do I even want to see him again? ' Light sobbed softly as he realized that *yes* he wanted to see him again. He wanted to look into those big, dark eyes just one more time. 

One last time. 

Perhaps he could even say sorry. Not as Kira to L but as Light to Ryuzaki. He was sorry in his heart the dream they both harboured about sharing a life together would never come true. 

He would never solve cases by L's side and wake up with him in his arms. 

He would be dead, and L would continue existing, just as much as a ghost as he would be. 

Light shuffled over to the thing that was meant to be a bed and laid down. Had the guards drugged him? He felt so tired all of a sudden. Bone tired. He curled up into a ball, wishing L was here to hold onto, and fell into a fitful sleep. 

When he next awoke he slowly looked around his sparse surroundings. It hadn't been a dream then, this was really his fate. He was to die as Kira. 

Light stretched the kinks out of his back, but paused when he heard a soft sigh. He knew that sound, he knew it intimately. His eyes widened as he slowly turned to face the ghost on the other side of his cell. L's dark eyes were staring at him through the slit in the door, and they were shining with unseen tears. 

"Hello Light" L finally whispered. 

Light sobbed in reply and rushed to the door. L flinched away from him and Light could do nothing but place a finger through the narrow gap. L looked at it for a moment before he gently touched Light's finger with his own. 

The simple contact broke something in them. They sank to the floor on either side of the door, fingers wrapped around each others and sobbed quietly. 

"Why, Light... Why did you have to do this? Don't you understand I have to kill you? I will have to kill you and I will end up destroying myself in the process" L rested his head against the cool door "I need... Some time to compose myself before I speak with you about the... Execution. I just had to see you again." 

Light gasped as L pulled his finger away "Wait! Don't go! L, please!" 

L lurched away, his heart hammering in his chest from such a simple touch. Even now Light affected him so strongly. 

L tried to ignore the heart-wrenching sobs that echoed through the corridor as he ran back to his room. 

Watari had been right yet again, he shouldn't have tried to see Light again so soon. 

Light was toxic to him but as with most toxins L found himself to be well and truely addicted all the same...


	4. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L asks Ryuk to accompany him when he officially meets Light as his prosecutor but he quickly realizes he can never be just the Detective L where Light is concerned. Promises are made, forgiveness is given and they finally learn what Love is. Light's execution day arrives. Is L ready to do what he must?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not read this chapter without a mountain of tissues in front of them. You will need them.

L slept fitfully that night. He dreamed of needles and Light's luminous skin breaking under their pressure. He dreamt of poison coursing through Light's blood system until he woke up screaming. 

Rem was at his side, her surprisingly gentle touch soothing him back to semi-lucidity. L collapsed back against the pillows, panting for breath as he tried to block the images from his mind. Rem continued to stroke his hair carefully, mindful of her own strength and the fragility of the little human she sought to comfort. 

"Rem" he rasped, his voice jarringly loud in the silent room "How am I going to kill him? How can I do it?" 

"You will find the strength to do what must be done, L Lawliet. You are strong enough" 

L shut his eyes and tried to believe in her words. He always knew he was strong, he had had to be. But strong enough to *kill* Light? now that the clock was ticking down to that fateful moment he really wasn't that certain. He would have to inject the Potassium into Light. He would have to pronounce him dead. 

"Rem, please be honest with me... Is there an afterlife?" 

Rem sighed. She wasn't supposed to discuss such matters with humans. But she had done so before. Misa had asked her the same question and she had answered. Since she was not rendered into dust upon answering Rem assumed it was another one of the lazy King's laws he didn't bother to enforce properly. And if he did suddenly decide to enforce it... Well, she wouldn't be here to worry about it would she? 

"All humans will, eventually, die. The place they go to is Mu" Rem recited softly. 

L shuddered and let out a sharp laugh of amusement "Nothing. The place we go is nowhere. We have no other life" 

"Mu means nothing, but it does not *mean* nothing. Human souls live in Mu and they find *something* in each other. Mu is a realm, L, I can't say more than that. What I can say is when a mortal soul dies that is not the end. Take comfort from that, for I really can't say anymore" 

L gnawed on his thumb as he absorbed her words. Mu was a place, a realm the dead went to. Souls could find something inside nothing... Did that mean souls could find each other? Could he find Light in Mu one day? 

There was hope, no matter how uncertain. He would have to cling onto that. 

Rem watched as L finally fell back asleep, his expression peaceful. She knew to help L accept his fate she would have to speak to Light Yagami. 

She phased out of L's room and walked towards the cells. Prisoners were either asleep or staring vacantly out of their barred windows. She saw their numbers above their heads and they were all pitifully short. 

'How can humans be so disgusting and so endearing at the same time?' Rem asked herself as she passed a prisoner knitting a scarf, tears silently trickeling down his time-weathered face. This one was to die in the morning. Rem looked away from the weeping man and continued her journey to Light Yagami's cell. 

It seemed being Kira gave him some sort of advantage, if one could call it that. Light's cell was larger than the others and set further away. Rem assumed it was a cell otherwise used for solitary confinement. 

She walked through the iron door and stared down at the young, shivering figure on the bed. 

This Light looked nothing like the cold and scheming young man she had seen before. Light looked broken. She noticed the silvery tear tracks that ran down his face and was immediately reminded of L. 

Why did these two doomed mortals love each other? It was cruel, in her eyes. Still, she had to think of L and his wellbeing. She loomed over Light and tapped him with a scrap of her Death Note. 

At once Light sucked in a harsh breath and jolted awake. His eyes flew upon and focussed on the pale white being in front of him. 

"Rem" Light growled "I was wondering if I would see you again before I die. " 

Rem shrugged a shoulder "Here I am. I am not here to offer you comfort, Light Yagami. I am here to ask you to offer L some. He is torn apart knowing what he must do. If you truely love him you must try to put him at ease-" 

"At ease? He's going to *kill* me, why the hell should I try and put *him* at ease?" Light spat at the disloyal Shinigami. 

Rem sighed softly and sat on his bed, her presence slightly threatning. Light scrambled back and pressed his back against the wall, thin blankets wrapped around him protectively. 

"You were prepared to kill him in cold blood, Yagami. You thought  you *had* killed him, so don't you dare attempt to take the high ground. L is doing his duty when it comes to executing Kira. However he is plagued with doubt. He feels too strongly for you. He does not know if he can kill you. You tried to kill him with barely a second's hesitation. You have *lost* you owe it to him to make it easier on him. Whether L kills you or not, you will die in this prison. I am offering you the chance to show L how much you care about him before you do" 

Light's glower softened as he considered her words. L loved him, so of course orchestrating his execution would be damaging to him. He himself wouldn't be around to suffer the side-effects, but L would. He had the chance to make L's suffering easier to bare. He would die soon, but L would carry on. 

L did not deserve to live the rest of his life in guilt and sorrow. 

"I will tell him I am prepared to die" Light clenched his blankets around him tightly. He flicked his eyes to Rem's ghastly face and attempted Kira's confident smirk "But I want to see him again before I do" 

"He will be here after lunch to discuss the execution with you. Your mother, sister, and father will be visiting you first. You will soon be dead, but L must carry on. You will *make* him believe that" 

Light bit his lip as the lumbering Shinigami walked out if his cell. 

'If I can convince L I am prepared to die it will lessen his guilt. I will to try my best for his sake... " 

Light fell asleep to the sound of the pounding rain outside his cell, unaware as Ryuk and Rem silently stole the letters he had been writing to L. 

"What'd they say?" Ryuk whispered to Rem as they gazed down at the sleeping human. 

Rem shook her head and ignored the younger Shinigami. L would need to relay on her strength tomorrow, and she was not prepared to let him down. 

"Ryuk, that is for L Lawliet to know and no one else. Our duty here is to ensure Kira pays for what he has done. Nothing more" 

Ryuk rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out (once Rem's back was turned) thinking how *dumb* she was for caring about these human creatures too much... 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Light was allowed a shower and to change his clothes. He found himself wishing for a razor and some cologne until the absurdidty of the thought made him stop what he was doing and laugh out loud. 

He would soon be *dead* and he was regretting not being able to shave? 

Perhaps the stress of the finality of his situation was getting to him. He refused to believe he was going mad. He would die with his sanity, thank you very much. The whole world would be watching L put that needle in his arm. He planned on giving them a good show. Kira would not die screaming, he would die with serene acceptance. His followers would take up his cause. He would be worshiped, even if he was dead. 

It was an arrogant comfort he couldn't voice outloud. He knew L would spend the rest of his life decimating his supporters if he could, so he kept such thoughts to himself. His cell was bugged, so there was the chance L was watching him. 

'No. He isn't. Rem said L could barely stand to look at me. He must be having Watari monitor me instead' Light thought as he combed his hair. 

He didn't look his usual airbrushed self, but this was as good as he was going to get. The ill-fitting grey sweater and sweatpants all prisoners wore looked like rags on him. He was thin and gaunt, but his hair still shone and fell perfectly. His eyes still burned with pride. 

He was still himself, even if he wasn't wearing a suit and holding a Death Note. 

"Hurry it up!" A guard barked through the door and Light hissed in annoyance. He had yet to meet a guard he actually liked. They were all jumped-up idiots with self inflated egos because they worked in *L's* prison. 

Light wondered how they would feel if they realized L didn't give a shit about any of them. He was the only one L cared about, and that gave him a power over the guards. Light called back he would need another five minutes. As predicted, the guard huffed in annoyance but settled against the door to wait for him. He practiced his smile, just to see if his teeth were as straight and white as they were before he was captured. 

Of course, they were, even without his acitvated charcoal toothpaste. 

'You are very vain, Light-Kun. You are beautiful, yes, but beauty is fleeting. Nothing lasts forever and if you are fortunate one day you will look in the mirror and see you have grown old. You won't be beautiful then, but I hope you will be happy' 

Light chocked as L's words drifted into his head. L had said that to him when he was trying on a new suit, admiring the way it clung to him in a full length mirror. He had, at first, thought L was just jealous of how could he looked. But when he turned to reply to him he noticed L was not even looking at him. His attention was fixed on a spider's web, still glistening with dew, hanging from the window. 

'So you think being proud of your appearance is a bad thing? That figures, considering how you look... ' Light had snapped back spitefully. This was when they were first chained together. Before he realized how beautiful L really was, inside and out. 

'Light-Kun seems irritated I pointed out a character flaw of his and feels the need to try and insult me to soothe his pride. I do not care how I look, I do not care how *you* look either. If Light-Kun would open his eyes a little perhaps he would realize intelligence is the path to greatness and immortality. Leonardo Da Vinci, Alexander the Great, Albert Einstein... None of them are remembered because they were *pretty* and I find it very sad someone as intelligent as Light-Kun cannot see this' 

Light had been stunned into silence as L slouched over to him and tucked in his shirt collar. 

'I find that spider's web far more pleasing to the eye than your suit, by the way' 

And then Light had had no choice but to follow him, seething and *humiliated* as L walked out of the room and down to headquarters... 

"I started to *see* him that day. I started to realize how special he was... " Light wiped the few betraying tears from his eyes and straightened his spine. He was going to meet his family, they would not see him cry. 

Light silently held out his hands for the cuffs to he out back on and was led to the visiting room. He hoped his Mother and Sister would not cry. He knew his Father wouldn't. He would hold in his tears until the strangled him. 

Light met his Father's gaze first and inclined his head. Souichiro's eyes burned through him as he took in the person who had once been his son. 

"Light" Sachiko sobbed, tears springing easily to her eyes as she saw how thin and tired her son looked. Where was her golden boy with that heartbreaking smile and the permanently good grades? Who was this person wearing a prison uniform with such a cold look in his eyes... 

"Mum, Dad" Light brushed past the guards and embraced his parents. Sayu had yet to even look his way. Her thin shoulders trembled as she tried to supress her sobs. 

"Sayu... " 

Sayu finally turned to him but would not embrace him. She loved Light, but she would not hug Kira. She could not forget her brother was that monster. She remained where she sat and Sachiko went to her. 

Light nodded, understanding why Sayu would not wish to embrace him. He had been her role model, she had looked up to him all of her life and now she must be feeling betrayed. His little sister couldn't understand why Light had did what he had to do, she wasn't *smart* enough for that. But Light loved her enough to accept she would never understand. 

"Are you being fed?" Sachiko whispered tremousley "You look so frail... " 

"Yes, I am being fed. I just don't have much of an appatetite. I suppose ones imminent death can do that to a person" he gave her a lopsided smile, hoping his black humor would settle things down a little. It did the exact opposite. Sachiko burst into a fresh bout of sobbing and clung onto her daughter. Both women seemed incapeble of doing much else. 

"There is no need for such flippant disrespect" Souichiro said icely, using his body to shield his sobbing wife and daughter from Light's unrepentant gaze. "You are without a doubt the single most selfish person I have ever met. They are your family and they love you, but I can see in your eyes you find their tears to be signs of weakness. Sachiko carried you in her body for nine months and has spent a life time loving you. You will be executed tomorrow night, and yet you can't even find it within your heart to appreciate the love your mother has for you. You disgust me, Light. " 

Light shrugged. He didn't have to play the perfect son role anymore, and his Father had longed disgusted him with his weakness and refusal to challenge the tired old justice system. He had done that, and his Father had tried to stop him. 

"I am Kira" Light smiled, his teeth bared with just a hint of a threat "And I will die as Kira. The son you cry for died as soon as I picked up the Death Note. The only person in this world I truely care about is L. None of you could ever hope to understand me the way he does. I am sorry if I have dissapointed you, Mother, Father, Sayu, but you have dissapointed me my entire life. You've seen me, and now I would like to go back to my cell" 

Even Souichiro looked hurt as Light turned on his heel and submitted to the guards directions. Sachiko screamed in horror at the monster her son had become as Sayu trembled in her arms. 

It was only L, who sat watching the interaction from the monitoring room, who understood what Light was attempting to do. 

He shook his head sadly as Souichiro broke down in tears and embraced his devastated family. 

"Oh, Light, you can try and make them hate you all you want, but it will not make their suffering any less when you are gone" 

Watari awkwardly hovered by L's side, unsure of L's intentions. L got up from his chair and announced he would be speaking to the Yagami family in person. 

As always, Watari was unable to stop him. L had already left the room. 

L found the family embracing in a sad little huddle around the table. He knocked on the door for propities sake then entered. At once Sachiko's tear filled eyes met the sad gaze of the one who would kill her son. 

"You are L?" 

"Yes" 

"You're younger than I thought you would be" Sachiko felt a fresh wave of sorrow fill her. This dark eyed young man looked only a few years older than her son. Children killing children. 

"L... Did Light mean any of what he just said? You *know* him better than any of us" Souichiro's tired eyes remained fixed on the table as he clenched his hands together. 

"He did not. He was trying to make you hate him so you wouldn't grieve so fiercly for him. I suspect he was trying to help you in the only way he thought he could. If he had said to you he regretted what he had done that would have been a lie. Light simply chose a different lie to tell you in the hope it would turn your sorrow into anger. Anger is easier to live with, after all... " 

Sayu smiled bitterly. Yes, the Detective was quite right about that. Right now she *hated* Light for what he had done... But she loved him. He was her brother, dispite everything he had done, and he had been trying to protect them with his cold lies one final time. 

"Light will never repent for what he has done and he will never accept what he has done is wrong. That is why he has to die. I confess I did try for life imprisonment at first but... " L trailed off, dark eyes lost in memory as he thought back to the long negotions he had held with the Japanese President. He had known, even then, that Light was Kira. That was why he had suggested life-imprisonment... 

"L, will you tell Light we understood what he was trying to do, and that we still love him? That we always will?" 

L bowed his head to the grieving woman "I promise I will tell him that, Yagami-San" 

"And you? Will you be okay... " Sachiko frowned at the haunted look in the boy's tired, dark eyes. 

"I will be fine, thank you, Yagami-San" L replied woodenly. Like Light, he was a liar at heart too. 

He left the Yagami family to their grief to go and find his own. He would visit Light, but he would not be going alone. 

Ryuk followed him down the cold flights of stairs to where Light's cell was. Ryuk was grinning with excitement as L stood outside of the cell door. His breath hung in the air around him, the numbness seeping into his bones as he pushed L aside and became L the detective once again. He ordered the guards to open the cell and pulled out his paperwork. 

This was just another prosecution and last rites speech... With a Shinigami at his side. L ordered the guards to remain at their posts when they tried to follow him inside the cell. 

"I will be quite safe. There is nothing he can do that can hurt me" 

'More than I already have' Light bowed his head and remembered his promise to Rem. Just like his family, he would try and make L hate him too. If they hated him they wouldn't feel so bad when he was gone. 

The guards closed the door and then it was just the two of them once again. Amber met Onyx as they stared at each other. Kira and L. Light and Ryuzaki. 

"Sit down, Kira" L snapped, forcing his gaze away from those intoxicating eyes and pulled out a chair. He sat at the small table and spread the papers on the desk. Light sat opposite him, licking his suddenly dry lips as his eyes feasted on L. L's hair was it's usual tangled mess but he knew how soft those black strands were. L's eyes were even more shadowed with stress and sadness, but to Light they had never looked so beautiful... 

"Stop staring at me" L demanded flatly "I am here to inform you you will be executed at 7 pm tomorrow evening. As you are in your last day of being alive, any reasonable last requests will be considered. If you have any, now is the time to ask" 

Light sat back and admired those soft, pink lips. 

"I want to kiss you" 

L's shoulders trembled as he tried to stop himself from falling apart. 

Ryuk snickered at Light's request and made a kissy face. L was starting to regret Ryuk being present, but he needed the Shinigami and his Death Note. 

"Denied" L finally answered, his voice barely above a whisper "Anything else?" 

Light sighed in frustration. He supposed 'A Shag?' Would probably be denied too. He was dead already, the only thing he wanted now was for this cold version of L the detective to go away so *his* L could say goodbye to him. 

"I want L, my L" Light said quietly. He reached across the table and carefully took one of L's hands in his. L hissed and jerked in shock, but he did not pull away. He couldn't pull away. 

"I want my Light, but as you so eloquently said to your parents, he's dead" L dropped his eyes to their clasped hands and swallowed the lump in his throat. 

"You know why I said that" Light squeezed L's hand "You're the only one who understands me. I know I have to die, and I want you to realize I am *glad* you will be the last person I see. I'm glad I will die by your hand but I won't be able to go peacefully if it's L the detective in front of me. I want my L, just for a little while... " 

L did something for the very first time. He tore of his mask of the stoic and unflincing detective and buried his head in his hands. Light felt his heart clench at the small sobs coming from L's throat and he rushed to comfort him, his arms slipping around those frail shoulders as naturally as they had done a thousand times before. 

"Shh, it's okay" Light soothed, rubbing small circles into L's back "it's okay, everything will be okay, L" 

"How is *anything* ever going to be okay, Light? Nothing is *okay*" L sobbed, his voice cracking in pain "How am I supposed to carry on living without you? " 

Light husked a laugh and kissed L's tear-stained face "If the afterlife is real I will come back and haunt your ass, would that make you feel better?" 

L shivered in his arms. The afterlife was real. 

"Promise me you will come back to me" L said in a small voice. 

Light bit his lip. That wasn't something he could promise, he didn't know if the soul was real or not. L didn't know that. Or so he thought. 

"All people will, without exception, eventually die. The place they go to is Mu" L whispered "Rem told me this. There is life after death, Light. You need to find a way back to me. Promise me you will find it" 

Light hugged L tightly, his heart beating a little faster in his chest. It wouldn't be the end, then. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. But he had to reassure L. L had to believe he would come back to him, and Light would have to try his best to do it. He didn't want an eternity without his L. 

"I will, I promise" Light whispered into L's ear. 

L pulled away from him and nodded. He wiped his eyes and a new strength seemed to invigorate him. He changed before Light's eyes. His eyes lightened into that soft dove gray color Light adored. 

"About that last request... It will be granted. Once we have gone through what needs to be written in the Death Note. I want no chances of error and I want you to die peacefully and without pain, so Ryuk is going to write down your death in his Death Note. And *if* he tries anything funny Rem is going to tear him to pieces" L hissed the last part, shooting a distrustful glare at the sniggering Shinigami. 

"Aye, aye, I gets it. Rem will kill me if I do anything to harm her latest pet" 

L's stare turned so icey at the word 'pet' even Ryuk shrank back from him. 

"Joking! Bad joke, sorry... Please don't tell her I said that" 

L snarled at Ryuk to take out his Death Note. Ryuk's wings trembled a little and he did as he was asked. Light found himself smirking at the whipped Shinigami. Good, Ryuk deserved to be pushed around a bit. 

"Is there anything you would like to say before you die?" L asked quietly. 

"No" Light muttered "I only have one thing to say and I will whisper it to you alone" 

L nodded his head and stared at the Death Note in front of him before he dictated: 

Light Yagami 

Will die on April 11th at 7:30pm by Lethal Injection. Light will die peacefully and without pain. No errors will be made during the insertation of the needles. 

Ryuk scrawled it all down and smirked at Light. Light glared back at him impassively. If the Shinigami thought he was afraid now his death was written down he was very wrong. He would not show fear to such a weak and pathetic creature. 

"I'd like that kiss now" Light smiled when Ryuk snapped his Death Note closed. 

L flew to him and sighed into his kiss as Light's arms wrapped around him. It felt so right, so terribly right, and L opened his mouth to Light's tongue and stroked it with his own. Their tongues curled around each other's in a soft dance, and L shivered with sensation as Light's hand cupped the back of his head. 

Ryuk muttered about 'stupid humans' and wandered off. He'd got to write Light's name down but he wasn't going to hang around watching those two try and eat each others faces. 

L hadn't even heard him. His whole world had narrowed down to Light's warmth seeking into him. L felt the press of Light's arousal push into his hip and he pulled away. 

"L..." 

"No, we can't" L rasped through kiss-swollen lips "We can't, Light" 

Light growled and pulled L against him, his mouth seeking out that spot on his throat that always made L tip his head back and moan so beautifully. 

"Light!" L gave a chocked gasp "Please, we can't-" 

"We *can* and we have to. I can't die without feeling you again" Light pushed L against the table and stroked his face tenderly "one last time?" 

L shook his head, even as Light slipped off his shirt. 

"I've already done that. That last time in the HQ building... The day before you tried to kill me. That was the last time, Light" 

Light dropped L's shirt on the floor and thumbed a nipple. L clamped his teeth into his lower lip as his body *sang* at Light's touch. 

"This is our last time. No Kira. No Detective L. Just me and you. Please" 

L cried out as Light dipped his head and took his nipple in his hot, sucking mouth. Light was chipping away at his defeanses with every kiss, every touch, and the bastard knew it. He could feel Light's smile against his skin as his scrambling hands knocked his paperwork away. 

L lost the battle when Light lifted his head and looked him square in the eye. 

"Our last time" Light whispered "In this life. I *will* see you again" 

L ripped that ugly sweatshirt of Light and they kissed endlessly, their hands skimming over each others skin. Light pulled L's belt through the loops and chucked it on the floor. L was shivering in his arms, he could smell the soap on his skin. L was so breathtakingly real in his arms it made his heart stutter. 

Once they were naked they stared at each other as if seeing each other for the first time. Light pulled L against him and whispered the only apology he would ever make "I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry being Kira hurt you. You are the only one, Kira will die unrepentant to the world, but he is sorry for you" 

L hushed Light with a kiss. It was too late for sorry now. The clock's loud ticks on the wall were counting down the last hours of Light's life. 

Light used his conditioner as lube and pressed one finger inside. L clenched tightly around him and gasped out his name. It was as sweet as the first time he'd done it, all those months ago. 

"Is this okay? I don't want to hurt you" Light whispered as he slipped another finger into that tight heat. Conditioner wasn't ideal, and he couldn't stand the thought of hurting L. Not now. 

"It's good" L hissed "hurts a bit, but it's good" 

Light applied more conditioner to his fingers and worked steadily on stretching out the silky heat he ached to sink into. L absorbed the touches, sounds and sensations and once again commited them to memory. Light's panting breath, the scent of salt as Light's sweat trickled down his chest. 

"I'm ready" L settled back against the lumpy bed "Please" 

Light carefully arranged himself and guided his cock to L's hole. L wrapped his arms around his neck and groaned raggadly as Light pushed inside of him. 

It hurt. The conditioner wasn't enough to take that away. He gritted his teeth and locked his legs around Light's waist when he made to withdraw. 

"No. I need this. I need you" L panted, "Don't you dare go away from me" 

Light flexed forward, his cock sinking in to the hilt and L gasped. Pain shot up his spine and he dug his nails into the slick skin of Light's shoulders. 

"Don't move" L breathed. Light didn't. They lay locked together for endless moments, their hearts racing as they kissed. Light felt L relax around him but waited patiently. L called the shots here. It was the least he owed him. 

"Move. Slowly" L sighed, biting at his lip as Light rocked his hips gently. The pain was less now, the friction receding as Light thrust into him gently. This wasn't sex. This was making love. 

The sheer beauty of the moment was enough to bring tears to both of their eyes as they moved siniously together. This was no desperate rush to orgasm, this was a slow, meaningful, sensual exprience both bitterly regretted they could not have again. 

They spent long minutes kissing, things they wanted to say but couldn't, passion and sorrow were all spoken of in those kisses. 

Light's body trembled with emotion as L flexed against him. They both knew the clock was ticking now. 

"I love you, Light." L sighed into his neck "I love you. I am so sorry, I love you" 

Light kissed away his tears and increased his pace, the lazy, grinding rythum remained and L sobbed in pleasure as Light's cock nudged that spot inside him. 

"I love you, L. I will love you forever. You are my equal" 

Light reached for L's twitching cock and began to stroke it in time to his deep thrusts. L tossed his head, his hips snapping up into Light's touch. The bed creaked in protest, but neither could stop now. That hot coil of need was flaring through them. The whole world could crash down around them and they wouldn't stop. 

Light's patience snapped and he readjusted L's legs so he could thrust deeper and faster. L screamed in pleasure as his come spurted out of him. The sounds of Light's balls hitting his ass as he pounded into him and their ragged breathing filled his ears as his mind screeched to a halt. He couldn't think as Light gasped his name and slammed into him, once, twice and then he was coming. Groaning L's name, Light filled that hot channel one more time as pleasure whited out his brain. His eyes flickered close as he grasped L's hip, needing to exprience this most primal act of life to it's fullest. 

L's body was wracked with aftershakes and he feared he may have blacked out for a moment. When he came to again, Light was tenderly smoothing his damp hair out of his eyes. 

"That was... " L shook his head. There were no words for how mind-blowingly intense it had been. It had felt like their *first* time, not their last. 

"That was what love feels like" Light sighed. He rested his head against L's chest as they listened to the clock tick away the minutes. 

They both knew the next time they would see each other was with Light strapped to a gurney... 

"I know, L" Light whispered as L clutched onto him tighter "You have to go, you do, Sweetheart. I am ready for tomorrow" 

"You're too young!" L blurted out "How can you be so ready for death?" 

Light smiled softly and stroked L's face in silent reverence. 

"Because I know what love is now." 

They only had another five minutes before L's hour was up. They spent it dressing inbetween desperate kisses and whispers. L stood outside of the cell, his heart shattered as Light blew him a kiss. 

"Until tomorrow" 

L could only nod before his strength failed him. He still felt the ache of where Light had been inside him. He could taste him on his tongue... 

L swept past the guards, his stoic mask firmly in place. Neither commented on the tears gathering in his eyes. Or the marks on his neck... 

******** 

Time passed. It either flashed by or it crawled. There was no inbetween. 

After another sleepless night L found himself sat in the execution chamber, looking over the equipment one last time. He had seen this go wrong, several times. The agony those condemned to die had experienced if the toxins were injected into the skin instead of the blood system... 

That would not happen to Light. He had made sure of that. The clock struck six and L slumped down onto a seat. It was time for Light's last meal. He doubted Light would eat anything. He couldn't blame him. 

Rem approached him and laid her hand on his shoulder. 

"Oh, Rem... I wish I could die with him" 

Rem's eye narrowed above L's head and read his numbers. She felt a tremour run through her as she realized the 60 years he had had left had dwindled to just 3. 

L saw the horror on her face, saw where she was looking and smiled. 

"I don't have long left, huh, Rem? Guess my numbers have changed. I am glad" 

"I am not" Rem admitted softly. She hesitated then curled her thumb and index fingers up, leaving three on L's shoulder. 

L nodded in understanding and placed his hand over hers. 

"Don't be sorry for me, Rem. I am content with that. It is enough time to choose my successor and say my goodbyes. I have no desire to live my life without him. " 

Rem remained silent as the first press members filed into the room. L refused to answer their questions, he refused to even look at them as they crowded around him. His mask hid his face and he was dressed in black. They knew he was the executioner, and since Kira was to be killed by *the* L, they knew who he was. 

"L-San! L, a quick question if I may?" 

L cast the bald-headed reporter a dark look "you may *not*. Sit down and shut up, all of you. I will not waste my time answering your pointless and idiotic questions." 

There was a scramble of activity as some reporters rushed to their seats. None of them wanted to get on L's bad side. 

Except the fat, bald reporter apparently. He grabbed L's arm as he turned to go and L whipped his head back to stare at the man in fury. 

"Let go of me" L said softly, dangerously. 

"Your voice-it sounds very young. How old are you? How old is L-" 

Before he realized what he was doing L had sent the man sailing through the air and crashing into a pile of plastic chairs with one powerful roundhouse kick. 

The reporters huddled together fearfully as L left the man unconscious and bleeding and walked out of the room. 

******** 

Light received the messages from his family. He read them, cried, then wrote his own in reply. To his Father he apologized for the shame he had brought him and wished him a long and happy life. To his sister he apologized for leaving her so soon, he asked that she concentrate on her studies and make something of her life. He asked her to live every day like it was her last. 

And to his Mother he simply thanked her for all her kind teachings, her love, her unrelenting devotion to him (even now) 

His letters to L had been read and left on his bed for L to collect later. He dated his last letter and bundled them up together neatly. 

Ryuk was the one to inform him of his impending death, like the Grim Reaper he was, he swooped into the room with glowing eyes. 

"That time already?" Light deadpanned "Shame, I was quite enjoying myself in this shithole cell. Ha, what? You expected me to be terrified? To beg? Sorry, Ryuk that will never happen" Light walked through the Shinigami and straightened his suit jacket. 

His baggy prison uniform lay on the floor, ripped to shreds and arranged to form the words 'LIGHT LOVES L' 

The door was pulled open and Light stepped into the corridor. He was calm, peaceful. The guards shot each other surprised looks as Light walked between them confidently. He did not look like a man about to go to his death. 

He looked serene. Godlike, for the first time in his life. 

"Aren't you frightened?" The younger guard asked in an awed whisper. Light turned to look at the man and placed him as only a few years older than himself. 

"No" he replied shortly "There's hardly much point in being frightened of the inevitable" 

Light ignored the guard's shocked look and fixed his eyes ahead of him. He wore his favourite cologne and had been allowed to shave (under supervision) in lieu of a last meal. The last thing he had ever wanted to taste was L's lips, he would not sully that with food that would never have the chance to be digested. 

The execution room was full, Light noted with wry amusement. The reports leaned forward, bright eyed like vultures as they snapped pictures of him. Light shot them a beguiling smile and tilted his head. Let the world see his best side. 

He refused to look at his Father, save for giving him one last smile, and scanned the room for L. He was not here yet. 

Light ignored the reporters shouting and calmly laid down on the gurney when prompted. He held out his arms for them to be clamped in place. 

He stared up at the ceiling and counted the bright lights. 24 of them. The technitions tested his veins and inserted the needles and canulas ready for the lethal does of toxins. 

And then Light's breath caught as his black-clad lover/nemesis entered the room. L walked right up to him and Light smiled up into the dark eyes gazzing down at him. 

"Light Yagami, you are sentanced to die for your crimes as Kira. Do you have any la-" 

L cleared his throat. He swallowed. Light saw the tears fill up those expressive eyes and gave a minute nod of his head. 

'Come on, L, you can do this' Light thought as L gazed down on him, a mix of sorrow, pity and anger in his eyes. 

"Do you have any last words? " L asked gruffly. 

Light's smile faded from his face. He felt time stop as he stared into those fathomless eyes. It felt like he was staring into space, time itself. He was staring at his universe. 

'I love you' Light whispered softly 'thank you for showing me what love is' 

L nodded his head, hoping Light would see his love returned in his eyes. Light nodded back. He understood. They understood each other. 

L walked slowly to the table where the three injections lay waiting. L picked up the first one, Sodium thiopental to induce unconsciousness. 

He checked the needle for bubbles and inserted it into the canula. Sweat soaked his skin as he focused on that soft hand. That hand had brought him such sweet pleasure last night... But that hand had written down names and destroyed people's lives too. 

'Goodbye, Light' L whispered lowly 'Remember your promise'

Light nodded and repeated 'I love you' before L pushed down on the plunger. The sedative flooded through Light's bloodstream. L watched as those beautiful Amber eyes became glassy and then finally vanished from his view as Light fell asleep. He had held his gaze to the last second. 

The room was so silent one could hear a pindrop. L's breath sounded raggad and harsh in his ears as he prepped the next injection. Pancronium Bromide to induce muscle paralysis and respiratory arrest. This was the chemical that caused such agony when injected incorrectly. L inserted the needle and hesitated. Light was breathing so softly, he looked almost innocent lying there. His hair shone like molten gold under the harsh light. 

L knew the media would report he appeared 'hesitent' to kill Kira. He didn't care. 

He pressed down on the plunger and turned away when Light's breaths became gasps. He was struggling to breath. It was time for the end. 

The last injection was Potassium Chloride. 

This would stop his heart. 

He flushed out the canula with saline and wiped a hand on his pants. Sweat was pouring out of him now. He felt dizzy. Time stood still as L took one last look at the man struggling for breath beneath him. 

He closed his eyes and adminestered the last injection. 

He kept his eyes closed as those harsh breaths faded to nothing. Air escaped from Light's throat in one last sigh, and then he was gone. 

L reached for Light's wrist and felt for a pulse. Although still warm and soft in his hand, there was no pulse. 

Kira was dead. 

His Light was gone. 

Still, with eyes closed, L announced the death of Kira at 7:32 pm. 

Shouts, cheers and the flashes of cameras assulated his senses. L let go of Light's wrist and it fell limply back by his side. 

"L. Open your eyes"

L shook his head at Rem. He couldn't look. He couldn't do anything but stand and feel total loss eat away at him. It reminded him of a poem he had 'saw' once. A plaque on a gravestone had read: A Poem of loss. Below it no words were written. 

Because loss couldn't be explained, only felt. 

L turned his back to the jublient reporters and trusted Rem to guide him safely out of the room. Eyes closed, heart pounding and tears soaking through his mask, the Great Detective L walked away from the corpse of Kira as the world watched in rapt fascination. 

L Lawliet walked away from Light Yagami. The one he had loved. He went to Light's cell. He saw the message on the floor and picked up the bundle of letters left for him. 

He ripped off his mask, flung his head back and *screamed* in agony. 

Watari, who had followed him to offer his condolences, checked out the sounds of L's screams and walked the way he had come. 

There would be no comfort he could give that would help L now. The only thing he could do for him was respect his need to be alone and grieve. 

Watari ordered the guards to the execution room (where Kira's body was being taken down from the gurney) to control the media rabble. One look at his face warned the guards the consequences would be dire if either of them mentioned the heartwrenching screams coming from Kira's cell.  
They rushed away, neither willing to risk their lives and blocked their ears to L's sobs as they echoed through the cold, dark corridor...


	5. Time waits for no man..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 years have passed since Light's Death. Light has not contacted him. L lapses into delusion and dreams as he slowly withers away. Light wants to keep his promise with all his heart- but time waits for no man, be they alive or dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sobs... Why do I *DO* this to myself... And to you... Sorry -_-")

The clock read 3:45 am. L's restless eyes stared up at the ceiling, memorizing the swirls in the plaster. He knew the by heart now, since he tended to pass most his nights staring up at the ceiling. 

The wind howled outside his window and brushed the gnarled branches of an old Oak tree against his window. L didn't bother turning his head, the patterns were enough for him. They would keep him busy, as long as he stared hard enough. 

'Light, I do believe I am going mad' 

L giggled as that thought crawled across his sluggish brain. It wasn't the first time he had thought it. 

'It's all your fault' he added nastily, speaking to the image of Light locked forever inside his mind 'Look what you have done to me! Look what loving you has made me become'

The Light in his mind simply smirked at him, those keen eyes shining with secrets he refused to share. 

L rolled onto his side and closed his eyes. Sleep still would not come. This was his sixth night of no sleep, and things were starting to get blurry now... 

He reached for his mobile on the bedside table and pressed 1. Within seconds his ever faithful Watari had answered him. 

"L, are you allright?" 

L felt a flash of guilt at how sleepy the man sounded. 

"No. Watari, I fear I am loosing my mind. I cannot sleep. I'm prepared to try that medication you offered... I can't go on like this"

"I am on my way"

L stared at the phone for a long moment before he disconnected the call and curled back on his side. 

This was just the latest concession he had made. The majority of his cases passed through Near, Mello and Matt now. His successors had stepped up when he had been unable to function as the World's Greatest Detective. Now, L considered himself a ghost who lived half a life. He was in a state of perpetual waiting. 

A soft knock sounded and L lifted his head to see Watari's kind blue eyes settle on him. 

"Here, L, I've checked the dosage, I think it is prudent to start you on a medium dose. Sit up for me"

L did as he was asked. Watari took out a medicine bottle and dropped two, green caplets into his palm. L swallowed them dry. 

He tried to ignore as his sense of pride crumbled away a little more as Watari waited with him for ten minutes. Neither of them spoke as Watari sat on the side of L's bed, eyes fixed on the clock on the wall. 

"Thank you for coming to your senses, L. We have all been so worried for you. The trio will be delighted to know you have agreed to try the sleeping aid"

L 'hmm'd' in response and resumed staring at the ceiling. 

Watari sighed and shook his head. He stared at the pitiful young man before him and felt the overwhelming urge to shake him. L had given up. He had let Light's death destroy him and seemed content to spend his few remaining days in solitude, barely even eating any more. 

L was slowly dying before his eyes. 

"I will be back to check on you la-"

Watari smiled as he realized those haunted eyes had finally closed. L had fallen asleep. 

The smile faded from his lips as he realized L *looked* dead, his chest barely moving and his breathing shallow. 

L had told him of Light's promise and Light had failed him. 

"Damn you, Light Yagami" Watari cursed, tears falling onto L's duvet as he tucked him in. On the bedside table lay a list of documents- L had began writing his will. 

He had lost faith. 

.....   
.............   
.................... 

L awoke the next day and informed his team he had dreamt of Light. Then he had lapsed into a bout of silence that lasted two weeks. He officially quit as 'L' locked himself in his room and lost himself in dreams... 

........   
..............   
..................... 

Time passed. Slowly. Quickly. No matter the speed, it continued it's steady march onwards, eroding the numbers above L Lawliet's head like the force of waves crashing against a cliff. 

And then, one Spring morning, L and Rem met in the garden as they so often did. L's numbers now read: 1 month. 

"Oh, L, I wish things could be different" Rem sighed. The wind ruffled L's hair and made the soft black strands dance around. 

"It is what it is" L took a small sip of tea and smiled serenly "I just wish he could have came to me. He promised me, Rem. That broken promise hurts me more than anything"

Shinigami and Human sat together in silence, contemplating the tragedy love could bring. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Please! I have made a promise, I need to go back and see him!" 

Light growled and banged his fists against the table. Mu was a fucking pain in the ass! Because of his 'great crimes' the elder spirits were conflicted about letting him return to Earth. As such, the portals between realms, that other Spirits could come and go through as they pleased, where barred to Light. This was the second day of his trial, and each second seemed like a lifetime to him as he argued his case. 

"You do not have the right to judge me! None of you do, we are all dead here! Death should make us equal, who the hell do you think you are? I *will* return to the human realm, I don't care what it takes. I will lift this stupid fucking block and return to him!"

The elders shared a look. This soul in particular had caused them nothing but trouble since he had arrived a few days prior. 

As the oldest souls in Mu, they had a duty to decide which Spirits could pass through realms to meet loved ones and which Spirits would be forced to remain in Mu. Light Yagami was proving a difficult case. 

"Which mortal did you promise to meet? And how did this mortal know of the existence of Mu?" Anrok, a haggered, withered old woman asked in that raspy bark of hers. 

"L Lawliet. He is the Detective L, the one responsible for my Death. He was told of Mu's existence by a Shinigami called Rem. He made me promise to return to him. Please, it's been two mortal years now... I can't stand to think of him suffering. What can I do to prove I am worthy to travel through the realms? "

"Repeant your actions as Kira with an open and honest heart. Do this, and you will be free to visit L Lawliet and collect his soul. The time of his death is fast approaching"

Light swayed on his feet, the words hitting him like a physical blow. It couldn't be! L was *young* he had so many years... How could he die so soon? Would he take his own life? 

"L Lawliet's lifespan decreased from 60 years to 3 on the day of your execution, Yagami Light. Mortal's actions and feelings can postively or negatively effect their lifespans. Lawliet's reaction to your Death has reduced his lifespan. I am sorry to have to tell you this, Light Yagami. I can sense your love for him"

Light closed his eyes and sank to his knees before the council. 

"If I can visit him, his lifespan may change. I have to try, please, let me go to him and try! I repeant all my actions as Kira. I've heard from other souls what is happening in the mortal realm, and nothing has changed. The world is still rotten, true Justice doesn't exist, people are killing and trampling over people just as they have always done. Kira is *nothing* to me now! I died with conviction in my heart that I had done the right thing but I know now that isn't true- L is the only thing that matters to me!"

They dipped their heads as they whispered to each other. Light clenched his hands into fists as he waited. Time moved so slowly here, but he had already worked out one day in Mu was the equivalent of 1 mortal year. He didn't have much time left, not now he knew how little time L had left to him... 

"You will be too late, Light Yagami. His time is close. Go to him, your sincerity is clear to us all."

Light bolted to his feet and rushed towards the blue portal. He was so close, so close to seeing L again-

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Watari, Near, Matt and Mello sat around L's bed. L's health had deteriated rapidly in the last few months. His brief improvement and willingness to try sleeping aids had been his last. 

It was clear to all of them L's life was slipping away from him. 

"This isn't right." Mello muttered "He shouldn't be dying."

"Death comes to us all, Mello, but I believe you are correct. This should not be his time" Watari squeezed Mello's shoulder as the boy burst into tears "Take comfort in the fact L has long been prepared, perhaps even longing for, this moment"

L's eyes flickered open and a hush fell across the room. L licked his dry lips and Watari gently pressed a glass of water to them. He managed a few sips before he collapsed back against the pillows. 

"It's... Getting close now" L rasped, sounding like an old man rather than a 25 year old young man. 

"Are you scared?" Matt whispered, his hand reaching for L's to hold it. 

"No" L sighed "I will.. See him again... And kick his ass for breaking his promise!" L tried to laugh, but the effort made him wheeze in pain. His chest felt like it was on fire. Perhaps he would die of a heartattack? It would be ironic if he did... 

"Will" L whispered. Near took the papers in small, trembling hands and placed them on L's chest. 

L shaikly lifted a hand and scrawled his name on the document. He had signed away his legacy to the three bright eyed young boys in front of him. 

"You three are all... Equal to me. Use your strengths to compensate for weakness. You must work together as L. It... is not an easy life. You will need one another. I have faith in you. Thank you for all you have done for me. I am sorry I am not strong enough to last any longer or to guide you. I feel ashamed, but executing Light killed me too. The dreams have stopped. I can't see anything now. I can't live without the dreams... "

Watari nodded and patted L's shoulder. L's lucidity was lapsing. One moment he made perfect sense, the next he was screaming for Light. 

"Why didn't he come back?" Matt whispered as L fell back asleep, his laboured breaths filling the room. 

"Perhaps he could not. None of us can truely know" Near looked to the small pile of letters L kept tucked under his pillow. A corner of one of the letters was poking out, perhaps displaced by L's fevoured dreams and thrashing about. 

It would be easy to pull them out, to read the last words of Kira L kept so close to him. 

But none of them could bring themselves to do it. L had kept those words to himself, and they all knew those words would be lost with him. L had asked to be buried in the small churchyard at Wammy's house, in a simple white coffin, in whatever he happened to die in. The only thing he was adament about was Light's letters were to be left unread, and placed in his hands to be buried with him.

They all loved and respected him too much to deny him his simple wish.

Rem's hulking form filled the window and she phased through the glass, her one yellow eye glassy with tears. 

"Rem, is it time?" Watari asked softly. L's breathing had become strikingly shallow. 

"It is" Rem confirmed "I have relayed his final messages to Aiber, Wedy and the Yagami family as instructed. Misa Amane has received Light's watch. She does not remember it's origin but she can sense it is precious. She will look after it"

"Rem... "

Rem smiled at her mortal friend and knelt next to him. 

"All has been done as you asked, L. You can rest easy now"

L smiled and reached out a hand. Rem took it gently in her own and craddled it against her body. 

Love was something beautiful, L Lawliet had taught her that. But it was so heart wrenchingly tragic as well. The love between L and Kira had been forbiddon, yet they had loved fiercely. 

L's body stiffened as a sudden sharp pain flared through his chest. He knew, in those last moments, his battered heart had finally given up on him. He clenched his teeth, refusing to cry out in pain. He did not want to frighten the boys. His heirs... 

"Rest, be at peace" Watari sobbed, his tears raining down on L's face as his prodigy struggled to breath. 

"Light... Light... I see... "

And then those once lively eyes lost that ever present gleam of intelligence. They became dull, focused on nothing as L Lawliet, the world's greatest detective, quietly slipped away. 

Mello screamed at L to blink, to do something and Matt had to pull him away. Mello screaming into L's unseeing eyes was devastating. He couldn't bare to see it. 

"Light" Rem whispered, her lips curling into a snarl "You are too late!"

Light walked slowly towards the bed. He had tried to hard... He couldn't be too late. 

L had seen him! Those final moments he *knew* L had seen him. L's last image had been himself, just as his had been L's... 

But there was denying he was too late. L was gone, those beautiful eyes blank and empty. Light screamed in pain and flung himself over the body. Visable only to the Shinigami, he could do nothing but weep as the humans stared down at L in shock. 

Light kissed L's lips and smoothed his hair, he whispered he was sorry over and over again, but the humans could not see or hear him. They could only see L's head tilting and his hair falling away from his face... 

He had been too late. He had broken his promise.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

The bells tolled, their somber moan ringing through Wammy's House as the funeral of L Lawliet was held. 

Watari led the service. There was only a small group of mourners and all of them were specifically invited by L himself. Aiber, Wedy, Near, Matt, Mello and Souichiro Yagami. 

"Watari... I am so sorry" Souichiro hung his head "I am so, so sorry for your loss"

Light hung back from the gathering, feeling guilty for even being there in the first place. Rem surprised him by standing beside him. 

He had to smile when Watari announced L had wanted no eulogies, and that he had already listened to a 'bunch of crap' at his fake funeral, he could do without it at his real one. L's coffin was white, as Light had expected it to be. L was the embodyment of white, pure, just and unblemished to the very end. 

"The letters written by you are clasped in his hands, to be buried with him" Rem whispered to Light. 

"He loved you with all his heart, the day he had to execute you was the day his numbers fell. He *chose* to die, Light. Instead of standing here, looking at his grave go and look for *him* instead"

Light knew the Shinigami was right. When he had first died, he had walked into Mu. The dark tunnel, the light at the end- it was was just as those who had nearly died reported. That long dark tunnel led to Mu, and when Light had arrived, he had no choice but to stand before the elders and have his life picked apart. He hoped L wouldn't have to endure the same. 

But how did he return to Mu? He cast helpless eyes around the orphanage grounds then looked at Rem imploringly. 

"I am only helping you for L's sake. You travel between the realms the same as Shinigami do. *concentrate* on a portal to Mu and one will appear. When you see him again, tell him I care for him dearly, won't you?"

Light could only nod absently, he was already picturing that pale blue portal that would take him back to Mu. 

As L's coffin was lowered into the ground, It appeared. Light shouted a farewell to Rem, his Father and the world. Mu was his home now, wherever L was... That was home.


	6. Something out of Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his Death, L arrives in Mu but receives a very different reception than Light. L is given a heartbreaking choice that will decide both of their fates for eternity...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I wrote two endings for this fic. This was the one I decided to go with... 
> 
> I just couldn't end things on a bad note... 
> 
> So... I hope you have enjoyed. I have chickened out of a truly angsty, tragic ending. I just *can't* write it. 
> 
> This has not been spell checked and was typed up when I was half drunk so... Yeah ✌

L awoke feeling a keen sense of disorientation. He struggled for breath and felt the last pulses of pain fade from him. He panted softly as he lay still, his eyes adjusting to the darkness around him. 

'Let's take stock. I am dead. I had a heart attack. I thought I saw Light before I died... But that might have been a hallucination. I need to stand up and walk through this tunnel. There should be light at the end... That's what people who have nearly died always say. Right. Plan made. Get up, Lawliet'

L moaned tiredly but did manage to stagger to his feet. He forced himself to walk along the cold stone path that led through the tunnel. As for first impressions? L had to admit he was not bowled away by Mu. 

L squinted as the light grew increasingly brighter the closer he got. It was so bright his eyes watered. He inched his way through the rapidly narrowing tunnel, resting one hand against the wall to guide him. 

Blindly he walked into the light, and when he finally felt it was safe enough to open his eyes, they widened with shock. 

Before him stood 12 spirits, each dressed in pure white robes. It was impossible to descern their age or gender. The flowing robes and hoods concealed everything but the etheral silver glow of their eyes. 

"L Lawliet. Welcome to Mu"

L couldn't help but feel a bit intimidated by them. They stood at least 7 feet tall, and those eyes... L felt, for the first time in his life (afterlife?) shockingly inferior. Still, he stepped forward until he stood before the strange beings. 

"Hello" L sat flatly. His voice echoed around the vast chamber "Um... Who are you?"

The biggest figure, the one who sat directly opposite from where L stood, stood up and looked down at him. L found he couldn't look away from those piercing eyes. 

"We are The Fates. Guardians of Mu. Most souls are greeted on arrival by the Elders, only the most exceptional souls are invited to our domain."

L nodded slowly in confusion. If only the most exceptional souls were taken to meet the Fates, what was he doing here? 

"You doubt your worthiness to be here, Lawliet? You have lived an honorable life, and have had to make painful choices. Choices that you made for the greater good of Humanity. Your sacrifice and humility will be rewarded. We have summoned you before us to offer you a choice"

L realised he was fidegting in sudden nervousness and locked his arms at his sides.

"What choice do you offer me?" L asked quietly, but somehow his voice still managed to bounce around the room. 

"The chance to be reborn. The chance for the soul of the one you love, Yagami Light, to be reborn as well. Your life was stolen from you, you had yet another sixty years in the Mortal Realm yet died of a broken heart at 25 years old. In recognition of the good your actions have done, we offer you the chance to live once again"

L bit his lip as temptation gnawed at him like a flame. Light and he would be alive once again! But... There was always a price.

"At what cost?" L demanded "I am a detective, I've learnt nothing good comes without some drawback. What is it?"

A soft ripple of amused laughter rang out from the hooded figures and L flinched back. It sounded like the hissing of snakes.

"Clever one, There is always a cost, you are correct. If you were to choose to be reborn you would retain all your memories of your past life, but Light Yagami would not. He will not remember you, his crimes as Kira and nor will he remember his love for you."

L suddenly knew exactly what that word 'Gutted!' (Mello was always saying that) must feel like. It was as if his insides had been torn away to leave him standing hollow and empty. 

"Would he become Kira again?" L asked softly. He was willing to consider the proposal, for Light to have a chance at living the life he should have, but knew he would never agree if Light was fated to become Kira once again. 

"He will not. He will walk the other path he was destined to take. One where he marries, has children and lives a long and successful life, one full of love and happiness"

L felt tears spring to his eyes at the images those words conjured up in his mind. Light, with a pretty, smiling wife who held an Amber eyed babe in her arms... 

"And I would live a life of sorrow and regret" L smiled bitterly. It hardly seemed like a fair trade considering he was the 'exceptional soul' and Light was the Tyrant Kira. 

"You would not. You will become the World's Greatest Detective once again and will bring peace and justice to the world. When it is your time to die, Light Yagami's memories will be restored to him. It will then be his decision if he wishes to join you in Mu. Please understand, Lawliet, for the grievious crimes he has committed Light Yagami will not be allowed to enter into something. He will be forced to remain in nothing"

L blinked. What? 

"Something is what we have termed the positive aspect of Mu. It is where souls can meet their loved ones and live out eternity in health and happiness. Eating, drinking and even making love is possible in Something. If Light chooses to return to your side, you will have your hearts desire. He will be granted the joys possible in Something he would otherwise be denied. However, if he chooses to remain with his wife and child, you will be forever separated. He will have to live in Nothingness apart from you. "

L sank to his knees and sat on the ground. His thumb found it's way to his mouth and he bit down on it viciously. What a cruel choice he was given in the guise of a reward. It was a gamble on everything he held dear. 

On one hand, if he chose to be reborn he would have to endure a mortal life without Light (but Light himself would be happy) and at the time of their death, Light would be given the opportunity to join L in 'Something' and be with him for eternity. 

On the other hand, if L refused the offer Light would be condemened to never experience 'Something' and would be trapped in the negative expanse of 'Nothingness' of course, there was still a chance Light would still end up condemened if, at the end of his second life, he rejected him... 

"Where is he now?" L finally asked "Did I see him before I died? He said he would return to me... "

"He tried, but his trial prevented him from reaching you in time. However you did see him when you died, and he is searching Mu for you at this very moment"

L chocked back a sob at the thought of Light wandering through that vast emptiness searching for him. 

His choice would hurt him, but it offered Light the chance of ultimate redemption. It offered them the chance to be together, in the end, even if they could not be together now. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and slowly rose to his feet. 

He had made his decision. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Light Yagami yawned and stretched, the muscles in his shoulders popping as he moved. He had had the most bizzare dream! There was a man with strange dark eyes and a vast gray wasteland. The man had been sitting on a rock in the middle of it. He had looked so terribly lost and sad it had made his heart ache... 

"Light! Hunny, can you go and give Kai his morning feed?"

Light sighed and slipped out of bed. He ran a hand through his hair to shake off the vestiges of that weird dream. 

He took the bottle from his wife and went to their sons room. The little one was bawling, his angry little face screwed up and red. 

"Alright, Little man, Daddy's got your milk" Light laughed, picking up the squealing child and cradeling him in his arms. As the child hungrily sucked at the bottle, Light forgot about that odd dream entirely. His life was a dream, he was married to a beautiful wife who had just honored him with his first son. 

That strange man on the rock would have to wait, he couldn't afford to think on the dream anymore. He was too busy admiring his son's perfect little face... 

********

Meanwhile, half the world away, L Lawliet sat in front of his computer, his tired gaze barely registering what was in front of him. 

He had dreamt of Light again last night. He hated when he dreamt of him. He couldn't bare the thought of Light kissing his pretty wife, doing family things, making love to her... 

'Light, I hope one day you appreciate the pain I am going through to give you a chance at redemption.'

"L, are you allright?"

L looked up into those soft blue eyes and found a smile. He would be alright. He would endure this life if it meant he and Light could be together in the next one. 

"I'm fine, Watari, perhaps just a little tired. I've finished up the Russian Mafia case, it was Mikhail who dumped the bodies in the river, but he was doing Levi's dirty work. I've called for both to be arrested and prosecuted for murder and attempted murder. Please see to it that the victims families are made aware justice will be done. Those two will suffer for killing those little girls."

Watari smiled sadly. 7 dead little girls and two sick bastards later and L had solved the case the Russian Media had dubbed 'unsolveable'

"Well, Sir, I am entirely certain they will suffer the full extent of the law. Now, shall I bring you what I've recently discovered? It's a Vietnamese sweet... "

At once, L turned wide, expectant eyes to him. 

"Yes please"

********

Time passed quickly. Before Light knew it his darling son had celebrated his first birthday. That night, Light, Kaho and Kai had celebrated the special milestone with a store-bought birthday cake and a cheap bottle of wine. Light was only 21, couldn't afford much, but they were greatful for what they had. Light spent all of his PCO wages on his wife and son, and though they lived in a small apartment it was always clean, tidy and homely. 

That night, once Kai was sound asleep, Light settled into bed with his wife and fell asleep almost immediately. His dreams were becoming increasingly distracting and disturbing, and this one proved no different. That strange young man on the rock did not seem content. Light tried desperately to find out who he was and why he kept dreaming about him. 

So far he had achieved nothing. But this dream... Well, this dream was of a different sort. Light groaned into the pillow as he sank his cock into the dark haired man's body. He'd never felt such beautiful, tight heat before. It was like slick velvet was caressing his cock with every thrust. And those pale legs that wrapped around his waist and pulled him in deeper... 

Light screamed as he lost himself to a mindless rut, his balls pulling tight before he groaned and shot out his come into that clenching hole, filling it over and over again with each desperate lunge into the man's body... 

"Light!"

Light gasped, eyes flying open as he felt the last pulses of come spurt out of him. His entire body felt electrified. He had *never* come like that before. 

"I... Wha'? What?" Light panted, his heart racing in his chest as he struggled to understand what was happening. 

His wife narrowed her soft brown eyes at him dangerously. 

"Who is 'L?' and why were you having a dirty dream about them?"

Light flushed violently and looked down at his still twitching cock. 

Shit. 

"I... I don't know who L is" Light finally stammered "God, these dreams! They're getting worse. You're right, Babe, I am going to have to go to the Drs... I just... " Light shook his head and immediately Kaho's eyes softened. She could see the genuine distress in her husband's eyes. 

"It's okay, Darling. I will make the appointment tomorrow for when you finish work. Why don't you go and have a shower and clean up, hmm?"

Light nodded, feeling numb inside as he went into the bathroom. 

As he stood under the shower he realized two very important things:

L was a guy and He was in love with him. 

But how was that possible? Was he loosing his mind? He'd never met a dark-eyed man called L, and he certainly didn't identify himself as gay (even if he could appreciate how brain-meltingly *hot* that sex had been) he loved his wife! 

So why did he keep dreaming as this mysterious L person? 

"Fuck this, I will get answers" Light muttered as he scrubbed the dried come off his belly. Kai's wails drifted through the thin walls and Light rested his head against the slick tiles. 

He was sick. His poor wife was exhausted and had to get up again to see to their son, and here he was standing in the shower half-hard again at the memory of sinking into another man's ass. 

Disgusted with himself, Light finished his shower and hurried to his wife and son. 

********

L lay awake, staring at the ceiling as he tried very hard not to think about Light. He knew Light was in Japan, was a rookie cop earning a modest wage and living in the Kanto region. He knew Light had married a pretty girl named Kaho and they had a son named Kai. 

He had stopped himself from finding out anything else. His heart couldn't take it.

'Fuck, I've ended up thinking about him again' L sighed and swung his legs out of bed. Sleep was becoming a luxury these days, and he hadn't had much of it to begin with. 

He walked over to his window and gazed up at the moon. It seemed very large tonight, silver and ethereal, very much like those strange beings eyes... 

L tore his eyes away and looked around his room. He needed a distraction. Something unrelated to Light. He walked to his desk and noticed he had a new email waiting for him. Work wasn't exactly what he had intended, but the email was a distraction. L opened it and read it with one sweep of his eyes. 

"When will people stop fucking killing each other" L muttered to himself as he re-read the details. 15 dead, suspected chemical attack, German Law Authorities were asking for L's help to locate the suspect before he struck again. 

L tiredly typed that yes, he would look into the case, and that they would discuss his fee later. 

L sighed and closed his eyes. sometimes, being the sole cash cow that funded Wammy's House could be quite draining. But he had the hindsight gifted from his other life and tomorrow he would begin training his three successors to one day take over his role. 

It wouldn't hurt them to get their feet wet with a few minor cases to start with... 

Feeling more positive than he had in weeks, L returned to bed and managed to fall into a deep and dreamless sleep. 

********

"Light, Sweetie! Look, look at her, isn't she beautiful? " Kaho cooed, showing Light the small bundle in her arms. Light smiled and reached out for his beautiful little daughter. 

"She looks just like you... Oh, she is so perfect. Have you thought of a name for her?"

Kaho smiled at that. Yes, they had both agreed Light would name a son and she would name a daughter. 

"I was thinking of Kazumi"

"Kazumi... Yes, it's strong, powerful but still beautiful. Just as she will be. Well, little Kazumi, welcome to the world... " Light grinned down at his daughter and Kaho felt tears pool in her eyes at the sight of it. 

They were truly blessed, but what she didn't know was that their happiness came at someone else's expense... 

 

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Seasons changed, the children grew, the dreams stopped and Light realized one day, as he was combing his hair in the mirror, he was growing old. Grey peppered his hair, much like it had his Father's. 

Kai had long flown the nest and was married with a child on the way, and Kazumi was studying abroad for her Doctorate. The house felt lonely without the kids... 

But then, they weren't kids anymore. Time had passed and Life had rushed by. In the blink of an eye, Light saw the age in his face. He had had a happy life and he only had one real regret... 

Kaho was in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for the night's supper, when it happened. Light groaned and clutched at his chest. His lungs felt like they were on fire as he struggled to gasp in air. 

He sank to the ground, unable to call for help as he felt consciousness leave him. The last thing he saw before his eyes closed forever was *him* that dark-eyed man that had haunted his life. The man's eyes were vast and fathomless. Light felt a thrill of de-ja-vu shot through his system as he stared up into them as his heart gave out. It was like looking up into the universe... 

********

L Lawliet knew the instant Light Yagami had died. He *felt* it within his bones. L closed his laptop and curled up in his bed. 

Things had come full circle, just as before, L shut himself away from the world and lost himself to dreams. Dreams of a time when Light wasn't Kira, where Light hadn't tried to kill him or when he did not have to curse himself to another lonely life to save Light's soul... 

"If I could, I would really hate you now, you bastard" L muttered, even as the tears spilled from his eyes. He had never known Light's lifespan, but now he knew it had only been 51. He knew he had at least another 20 years left of his own. 

He felt so *tired* all of a sudden. Watari had died several years ago, and L missed his old friend dearly. He could only hope Watari would find himself in 'Something' in Mu. L couldn't bring himself to consider where Light was... 

L decided the next day he would retire and give up his title of L entirely. Matt, Mello and Near were all extrodinarly talented young men. He knew his title would be safe with them, just as it had been before. 

L closed his eyes and fell asleep, his chest wheezing slightly as it now so often did. 

As always, he dreamt of Light. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Light Yagami stood before the 12 white cloaked sages, his expression filled with terror as he tried to understand what was going on. One minute he had been freshining up for dinner the next he had been gasping for breath, feeling like his chest was on fire, and had woken up in a tunnel! 

"Where am I? Who are you? Oh... No! I'm dead! I'm dead, aren't I? "

"Ha, yes, Light Yagami. You are indeed dead. 'All humans will eventually die. The place they go to is Mu'"

Light frowned. Mu. Why did that feel somehow familiar? 

"You have been here before, Light. Many years ago. Another chose to gift you with a second chance of life and a choice of your own. There are two chalices set before you. The one with the red wine will enable you to spend eternity with the family you love so dearly. The white wine will give you the *truth* and the answer you have spent your whole life searching for: The identity of L. "

Light gasped, his eyes immediately settling on the chalice containing the white wine. He had never forgotten L, he never could. The man haunted his dreams. If such things, such beings as the ones before him were real, was their a chance he had known L before? 

But Kaho... Kazumi... Kai. His family. 

Light felt torn. He closed his eyes and focused on what his heart was talking him to do. His hand reached out and picked up a goblet. 

The Fate's smiled in pleasure as they saw Light take a sip of the chalice that contained the white wine... 

********

"Mr Lawliet, Mr Lawliet, please. You can't go for a walk in this weather! You will catch your death, so you will! "

L glared through old, tired eyes at the Nurse in front of him. He understood these people were doing their job and all, but they really should realize by now he would do whatever the hell he wanted to do. And right now, that was to take a walk in the rain. 

"Kathy, I am 84 years old, if a walk in the rain was to hasten my death I can assure you I would walk far often than I do now. Please go and see to one of those poor demented fools over there. Ethel has been eating crayons again, you'll probably have to scrape them off her dentures. Best get on that"

Kathy O'Brien sighed in frustration as the stubborn old man ignored her and pulled on his raincoat. He stepped out into the downpour and slowly made his way down to the river at the bottom of 'Treasured Memories Retirement Home's garden. 

"Fucking assholes, putting me in a home" L muttered, thinking of the boys he had once raised and trained. Mello was getting on now, and his love of chocolate was doing him no favours with the onset of middle-aged spread. Matt was doomed to an early grave, having died the following summer of Lung disease, no doubt caused by his chain-smoking and Near... Well, Near was still Near. Instead of the pyjamma clad, reclusive boy L remembered so fondly, he was now a pyjamma clad, middle-aged virgin who never left Wammy's House. 

"Being old sucks. When I get to Mu I am demanding to be young again" L grumped as a sharp sting of sciatica shot up his spine. 

L Lawliet smiled as a familiar figure stepped out of the gloom to meet him. 

"Rem" L sighed "it has been far too long"

"L" Rem whispered "You are old"

L managed a wry smile "Happens to the best of us, Rem. I am nearly there aren't I? My time is nearly up now?"

Rem nodded and knelt before the small, old human before her. In her mind's eye she could still see their fiery young detective, determined to do the right thing no matter what it cost him. That person was still here. 

"I've come to ask you if you will allow me to write your name in my Death Note? It is the last thing I can give you, a peaceful death with one who loves you. It is what I gave Misa, she smiled as she died... "

L smiled and took that large clawed hand In his own "Thank you, Rem. I hope one day you will find me again in Mu. I will always look out for you"

Rem sighed. She was Shinigami. She would find no place of rest in Mu. That was for mortals. When she died, if she died, she would vanish into dust. And, not that L Lawliet knew it, that was exactly what she planned to do. Once she had fulfilled her duty and sent L to his death with the dignity and peace he deserved, she would die as well. 

She did not want to live forever. She had loved, and just like Light Yagami and L Lawliet, she did not want to live in a world where that love had gone forever. 

"I suppose we'd best be getting back soon, that Kathy will have my head if I'm out in this too long, so she will"

Rem chuckled at that timeless dry wit and walked with L back to the retirement home. L didn't look back at the gardens, he kept his gaze ahead as he walked calmly to his death with a friend. 

********

"L!" Light screamed, tears of joy and sadness streaming down his face as he stared into the portal before him. L was so old and frail looking now, but his eyes... 

Oh, it was true what they said about the eyes. They really didn't succumb to effects of time at L. They were just as dark and fathomless as he remembered them to be. 

"L Lawliet will die shortly. Then, you will be offered a choice. You may enter something with him, or you may return to nothing to wait for your family to join you"

Light tore his gaze away from L and turned furious eyes to the Fate's "*He* is my family, he is my everything! I... I care for Kaho and the children I had with her, but that is not my fate! I choose to be with L, I have to be with L"

The fates whispered amongst each other and Light cried out in shock as his entire body suddenly thrummed with energy. When he opened his eyes and looked down at himself he realized he was wearing the suit he had worn when L had executed him... He was young once again. 

"L Lawliet has made many sacrifices in his life. Choosing to live again, retaining all of his memories of you whilst you did not remember you, has saved you, Light Yagami. You were destined to wander Mu as a tortured soul, but L's love for you has saved you. You may go to him now, his name has been written. Bring him back here and you will receive your long awaited happiness"

Light didn't need to be told twice. He rushed into the portal, desperate to hold his L in his arms one more time. 

But not for the last time. 

Thanks to L's un-yielding love and sacrifice, they had the chance to spend eternity together... 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"L Lawliet, will die peacefully and without pain at 11:00 pm, October 31st" Rem whispered softly as she wrote her last name down in the Death Note. 

L smiled and popped a toffee in his mouth "Happy Birthday to me!" he sang, his morbid sense of humor amusing the Shinigami till the end. 

"Five minutes left" Rem closed the Death Note and sat on the edge of L's bed, just as she had done before, many years ago... 

"Rem... When I return to Mu, I am going to ask the Fates about what awaits Shinigami when they die. I mean it, I will see you again"

Rem smiled and pressed a kiss to L's face. She had sensed Light's arrival before L had. 

"He is here" Rem pointed at the mirror, where she saw Light steping through the portal to the mortal realm. L squinted, his failing eyes seeing nothing but wiggles. 

*L, I'm here for you*

L gave a soft gasp and sat up in bed, looking for Light with wide, desperate eyes. 

*Shh, my beloved. I am with you. Settle down, I will be with you till the end. And when you next awake, I will spend the rest of eternity with you*

L settled back against the bed, content to let those phantom hands card through his hair. He could not see Light now, but he could hear and feel him. That was enough. 

"What about your family?" L rasped "The ones you sent your second life with?"

*I love them. I will always love them. But they are *not* you. You are first in my heart, always. Did you really doubt I would choose you?*

"Yes" L sighed softly "It was a hard choice to make, but I would have suffered an eternity of pain if it gave you the chance to find Something. It was a risk I had to take"

*I am honored you made it for me, L. It is something I did not deserve. It's time now, close your eyes, it's all going to be okay*

L's eyes fluttered shut and with a slight sigh, life left him for the very lost time. Light held him gently, stroking that still-wild hair as L's body went slack beneath him. 

"Goodbye, Light Yagami. Take care of him in Mu. If you happen to see Misa... Give her my love as well"

Light smiled at the Shinigami and reached out a hand. After a moments hesitation she took it. 

*No need for goodbye's, Rem. You will see us again. Look for Something in Nothing and you will find us*

Rem watched as Light stepped back through the portal to find L. Was it possible? had Light been lying? 

She strode out of the door and walked up to the little old man with the beady eyes and ginger hair. This was the one L had hated. L had said this man was a convicted pedophile who had escaped justice. L had always made a point of informing the families bringing in young children in with them of who he was and what he had done. 

L had earned himself a lot of boxes of chocolates and toffees for this, and the children had been kept away from the old man's lecherous leer. 

Rem picked up a discarded knife that had been used to peel an apple and plunged it into the old man's neck in one, brutal thrust. 

Screams erupted around her and Rem smiled viciously as L's last enemy bled out before her eyes. Even as he turned to dust, she smiled. 

Whatever lay ahead, she had loved. 

And love was something worth dying for... 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx 

L groaned and opened his eyes. He was in the tunnel. Again. 

"For fucks sake!" L sighed. He picked himself up off the floor (taking a substantially longer time to do it this time around) and walked towards the light. He knew what to expect, and kept his eyes shut as he walked through the narrow arch way to the Fate's chamber. 

"Hello again, it's me" L said dryly as he shuffled into the room. His mouth snapped shut as he saw Light waiting for him. His Light, as young as beautiful as he remembered him to be... 

"L-Light... "

"L Lawliet. You are presented with a choice-"

L groaned and buried his head in a withered hand "Come *on* I've done this all before. I've made several choices that have nearly destroyed me and cost me my sanity. Cut me some fucking slack, why don't you!"

Light snorted but quickly averted his eyes to the ground as a white-hooded figure stared at him in chastisement. 

"This is the final choice, I am sure you will be pleased to know. The Shinigami Rem has passed over. Will you accept her and take her with you to Something? Shinigami do not often arrive here, but we feel Rem's arrival is special indeed"

"Yes, I want Rem with me" L decided. 

"The cost?" The largest figure reminded, in a tone that could almost be mistaken for amusement. 

"Oh right, well, what is it? " L sighed. He'd really had quite enough of this nonsence by now. 

"Nothing. To the truely deserving and pure of soul, gifts can be given. Rem will be granted access to Something and spend eternity in peace and happiness. L Lawliet, you are a remarkably selfless human being. We do not see your type often. Please, take a sip from the goblet in front of you"

L frowned at the goblet hovering in midair and shrugged. He picked it up and took a hearty swig. 

"Oh... L!"

"Well, obviously, Light, I-" L gasped at the youthful timbre in his voice and stared down at his hands. They were smooth, unblemished with age... 

Light rushed to him and smothered his face in kisses. 

"You're you! I have you back, L! You've done it. "

L smiled and wrapped his arms around Light's neck. They ignored the Fate's presence as they indulged in a far overdue kiss... 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Time passed slowly in Mu. Wonderfully slowly... 

L sighed in contentment as Light fed him a spoonful of cake tenderly. 

Matt, Mello, Near, Rem... 

L felt such a warmth as he heard the excited shouts of his friends. On this beautiful Island he and Light had dreamt up, they would spend eternity together. 

Misa, Souichiro Yagami, Sachiko Yagami, Watari, Sayu Yagami, Touta Matsuda... They all came, guided to the island by L and Light to spend eternity with the Spirits they had once loved. 

L and Light had spent many nights retelling their unbelievable story around the campfire, and Misa still squealed and sighed at the romance and tragedy of it even if it had been a century since it had happened. 

And then one day, Kaho, Kazumi and Kai had arrived on the island. Kaho's eyes were wet with tears as she wrapped her arms around L. 

"What you have done... What you sacrficed for him... You are exceptional, Lawliet"

L smiled blandly. Well, that's what the Fate's had said about him too. Perhaps he should start believing it? 

In paradise, one can choose the form they take. Watari refused to return to his younger image, insisting he had spent his life with L as an old man. He would spend his eternity that way too. The trio, Misa and Sayu had all chosen to take on the image of their younger selves. In fact, everyone had except Watari, Souichiro and Sachiko. As with all things in Something, their appearance reflected the time of their life they had been happiest, so it was no surprise really who had remained young and who had not. 

But, their time was endless. Their happiness was infinate and finally, L and Light could be together.

Light wrapped his arms around L's waist and pulled him closer, so he sat between his legs. The cool night air was tinged with the sweet smell of Jasmine and Honeysuckle. 

"L, remember when you executed me?"

L stiffened in his arms and made to pull away, but Light's arms tightened around him. 

"That was the start of everything. I loved you then, but I love you infinity more now. You are my something"

And then Light had pulled him into a kiss, and L Lawliet *finally* understood what true happiness was... 

It was being in the arms of the one you loved and being able to tell the truth. It was no more lies, no more expectations and no more cases. 

True happiness was Light Yagami, and L had finally gotten what he wanted. 

Perhaps their tale hadn't been quite so tragic afterall?


End file.
